I take another swig
And wash the whiskey down
Pick up my guitar
And make another sound
Sing some sad song lyrics
Shed a tear or two
Anything just to rid myself
Of the taste of you
I look at the photos on the wall
Then, the empty spot on our bed
Question where it all went wrong
Replay memories through my head
The guitar plays a familiar tune
Its one that I don't know
The beat seems to sing of heartbreak
And the day you let me go
And from this point in time
I don't know what to do
Try and numb the pain each day brings
Just to pull myself through
And as I take another swig
Dim everything a little bit more
I only hope that one day
I can forget what I'm crying for
And this song that I play is for you
The tears, and the whiskey too
And every word seems to speak your name
And every memory just wont fade
And as I play, I hope and pray
That someday I'll be rid of the scars you made...
Author notes
Ok, i will give you the story to this piece...my boyfriend had just decided to tell me he didnt love me, and was going out with someone else. My two best friends in the entire world, Brent and Leigh invited me over for the night just to hang out, listen to music, laugh and chill out. It was an AWESOME night and helped me get over the stupid male who made me cry and....we got slightly intoxicated. In my state of intoxication i thought i would become a country music singer, and i wrote this...it kinda turned out to be more of a poem than a song, but i think its ok anyway...please let me know what you think!
What did you think
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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fair
I really like the last stanza, but the rest does sound a bit much like a country song for my taste ;p -
I think that this is just marvelous Somebody-new. oh my , kind of odd saying that since i don't know your name...at any rate, thats not the point. The point is, this is a wonderfully painful expression of a terrible tragedy that has befallen you. To lose a love hurts...yet you have penned this tale with all the eloquence of a woman with a lot of class. Instead of sheer anger. This was indeed a wonderful write, and a joy to read.
love and serenity bestowed upon your heart, even though it was bruised,
Ocean
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I really like this. I love country music and while it did turn out more like a poem, as you said, it wouldn't take much to turn it into a song. Also, if you check out my page, I have a lyric titled "She'll Be Gone" that feels almost like a continuation of this.
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hey sis
And this song that I play is for you
The tears, and the whiskey too
And every word seems to speak your name
And every memory just wont fade
And as I play, I hope and pray
That someday I'll be rid of the scars you made...
This poem is alsome u did a gorgeous job with this poem keep up the great work that u do u have beautiful talent..
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This is very well written, flows well and conveys a lot of emotion.
Well worth the read! -
Very nicely done. It had a good rhythm to it; well most of it. Some lines seemed to be a little off... But, this is very well done. Not like those typical, I'm getting over you songs.
Great job, and good write
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Hehe,country music... nice piece tho. very sad If ya ever wanna chat, jus drop me a msg. *hugs*
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Good
Life is about learning from experiences and us as humans come across many people in our lives who create an impression in our life. Some impressions leave scars and some heal them.
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wow I love this!! Deff great and I totally know how you feel You will deff get over him dont worry, and it seems like you have great friends to help you through it all!!
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hunny Thats sad!
I love this peice
yes it is a poem
Songs have a chours
(but thats all it needs)
ps. i love ur backround
in the second vres you might wanna fix it to make it rhyme at the end
good poem
don't worry we all get over them someday...
i can feel your pain.
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I do like this. There's a raw intensity to it.
Only a couple critical comments:
The lines
"The guitar plays a familiar tune
Its one that I don't know"
don't quite make sense. Maybe unfamiliar tune would sound better.
Also, the last line "I'll be rid of the scars you made". I don't think "made" is the right word. "Left" maybe?
Thanks for sharing!
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thats beautiful. I love the simple rhyme you had going. Its awesome as a song or a poem.
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This is really good, for a drunken write. Mine suck. The last stanza seems a bit rougher than the rest though. Good job conveying the raw emotion here.
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I
I would really like to hear Rascal Flatts play this... anyways, love it! bravo.
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Country !!!
Lol! This is definitely a country music song waiting to happen. I personally don't listen to a lot of country, but the little bit I do listen to, is for the awesome lyrics and this piece would so be one that I could listen to. I have been here, heartbroken, leading into intoxication... But I must say that I have never been able to write anything like this as a result. Well penned, full of emotion. Good write! Keep the Muse alive!!
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Wow, I like the theme here since it's got this
reminiscent tint within it,
the lines and some rhyming words here gave a great flow indeed ^^
Glad you were cheered up by your friends;
Besides, there are many fishes out there (I know cliche)
All in all, wonderful piece, all right! =]
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