Blinding snow,
Vision obscured.
Automobiles scattered everywhere,
Along the desolate highway.
Time moving slowly,
My father yelling my name.
Turning to see chrome,
In-front of me.
Looking back through the car,
Door missing where I once stood.
No shoes on my feet.
Standing in the blowing snow.
Breathless!
Author notes
Prompt is: "The Day I Stopped Breathing"
A contest entry
- Prompt 10 entries/ 30 words more or less by mysticstorm.
475 points, ended April 18, 2008, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Invit Only... by mysticstorm.
425 points, ended April 22, 2008, 6 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Powerful!!!
Wow, what a vivid imagery your write gave me! I can closely sense what you experienced that wintery day many years ago! Nice job my friend, congrats on the Honorable Mention
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Thank you
Thank you for your beautiful comment. It means a lot to me when other poets as good as you like my work.
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oh my goodness!!!
this is heart stopping...
I pray this is fiction only?
well penned poet! congrats on the HM!
Blessings! Tammy
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Thank you
This was from a car accident i was in with my family when i was 13. I had forgotten about it until I saw the prompt for this contest. Thank you for your wonderful comments
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This is such an amazing write. YOu have written this so well and described this scene brilliantly. All the best for the contest.
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Now this is a moment for sure when one would stop breathing...scary and well written...nicely done...
thank you for entering!
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