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Breathless

Blinding snow,
Vision obscured.
Automobiles scattered everywhere,
Along the desolate highway.
Time moving slowly,
My father yelling my name.
Turning to see chrome,
In-front of me.
Looking back through the car,
Door missing where I once stood.
No shoes on my feet.
Standing in the blowing snow.
Breathless!

Author notes

Prompt is: "The Day I Stopped Breathing"

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • SmileyLisa
    April 24, 2008

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    Powerful!!!

    Wow, what a vivid imagery your write gave me! I can closely sense what you experienced that wintery day many years ago! Nice job my friend, congrats on the Honorable Mention


    • buffsab99
      April 24, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      Thank you

      Thank you for your beautiful comment. It means a lot to me when other poets as good as you like my work.


  • Tam
    April 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    oh my goodness!!!

    this is heart stopping...
    I pray this is fiction only?
    well penned poet! congrats on the HM!
    Blessings! Tammy


    • buffsab99
      April 22, 2008

      Edit | Reply

      Thank you

      This was from a car accident i was in with my family when i was 13. I had forgotten about it until I saw the prompt for this contest. Thank you for your wonderful comments


  • Barely Breathing gold member
    April 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is such an amazing write. YOu have written this so well and described this scene brilliantly. All the best for the contest.


  • mysticstorm gold member
    April 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Now this is a moment for sure when one would stop breathing...scary and well written...nicely done...
    thank you for entering!

1 - 6 of 6