The jagged, blinding whiteness?
the weeping face of divinity.
the center of forgiveness?
the ripple of infinity.
A victim of our circumstance?
a pain is self inflicted.
in a burning room we dance.
an ignorance depicted!
For in the darkness, the spirit grieves.
with great strife will she endeavor.
drowning in the stagnant seas.
should our eyes be closed forever.
In a list
re-tittled 5/9/09
Comments
1 - 36 of 36
-
the way you discribe things and situations are just awesome, you are a brillant Artist .
Blessings
Rend
-
I lo0o0o0ove this! And the picture is GORGEOUS! I wish AP had a list to gather your favorite poems!
Great work
Abi
-
I thought this was really good, kind of wanted it to continue....loved the last line...great work, looking forward to reading more
-
-
thank you
i wanted to leave the reader with an urgent sense that there is more to be done here ... if that makes any sense ..
-
-
Great leveling here my friend. Truly deep
I would prompt for greater detail(remember, a lived experience/potentially livable), but it could hinder a wonderful flow.
Fantastic whisperings as always...
-
I believe I read this in the past, but can't seem to find a comment that I wrote (which surprises me as I enjoyed the piece.) Anyway, here's a comment then. Nice emotion in this piece, as well as a nice job avoiding trite, cliche rhyme.
-
Great poem.
A powerful write that is also thought provoking.
"the weeping face of divinity" ...I love that line.
Impressive write !!
-
-
thanks
-
-
wow thats really gud
-
-
thank u
thanks emowonder7
on my way to read ya
-
-
damn it i will give you clappy things if it kills me ll
-
have some clappy things too
-
Now as you know your one of my all time favourites and i probably said it a thousand times, but this is my new favourite of yours, it has such a nice tight rhythm, and just seems to march along on its own
seriously its a flippin masterpiece
nice write as always
-
-
you're a masterpiece!
:B...lol
-
-
THIS IS A VERY THOUGHT PROVOKING PIECE, SORT OF MAKES ME CONSIDER WHERE IM HEADING WHEN MY OWN EYES CLOSE FOREVER. THE IMAGRY HERE IS NERVE TINGLING
THE WEEPING FACE OF DIVINITY
WHAT AN AWESOME LINE STANDS OUT EVEN IN THIS SUPERB WRITE
THANKS FOR SHARING
-
-
complimrents
wtf? are complimrents??? lols....
lol anyway you get the idea
-
thanks fish youre like the coolest
: wonder why it did that though? anyway thanks complimrents from you mean more because of your own great talent
-
-
I like the title. It grabs your attention. Like, where's this person going with this? great job keep up the good work
-
Yeah I like the title, I use the last line as the title quite often. Very deep, but somehow I think it should be longer. very vivid imagery. good word
-
i really like this, it's portrays a very vivid concept. the thought of escaping from the world through closing your eyes is just wonderful. i like the title as it is, because that's the main point i think. the rhyming was also very wonderful, not forced at all. great write, keep it up!
-
With strong imagery and a great poetic structure, your poem grabs the attention and instills them with images of what's lost and gone. That's what I like about your poems, the fact that it's so well written that it grabs their attention and pulls them into it. With an amazing usage of words in flow and the rhyming scheme, this easily makes the poem a reading worth the time. Keep it up!
-
Everything about this piece worked well! The flow the length, the rhyme and the deep underlying meaning. This gave incredible imagery of a passion for the eternal, and the despair for those lost. I really loved this, it touched me.
-
This felt surreal and yet deeply meaningful. The rhyming is perfect and the words used are very strong and distinct.
-
-
thank you much lyaden
all i seem to write are the rhymeee's so comments are not only appriciated but they really help
i will try to get at the return of all the comments made by you lyaden.. and all you other fine people who commented too
-
-
Great rhyme !Flow was great !!!
-
powerful
As mankind moves on to greater things I wonder do we disturb the balance of the universe. Can one person dictate others fate. Yes for history proves so. Danger lurks. great write & ty for your kind comment
-
-
cheers bob
so true so true bob if you liked this check out.. your insight (judging from this great comment ) would be needed here as i'm not sure if it's over the top or if its good at all really this is it: http://allpoetry.com/poem/4187871
-
-
deep
i really like your style i they are soo deep and have so much imaninary and so much truth behind them, i love the way you write keeping in flow even if they rhyme its not forced and the cool way you bring them together with the background contrast too, keep it up -Amy
-
bare teddy
lovely piece! nothing i relate to more than being "a victim of...circumstance"!!! hmm...self inflicting pain, says the heart that stands in a room, not moving, knowing that they do not belong there 
kudos on this one.
*rianna
-
Ahhh... I love the flow here - it is as serene as it is poignant. Perception beyond what eye can see, set adrift in the waves.. This is truly a thought provoking write. Excellent piece.
-
This is such an amazing write. I loved the flow and rhyme of this. I really loved the imagery you used, you painted such a vivid picture for the reader. Well done.
-
u blow my mind with every write
this bad boy is amazing...very true and heartfelt
peace, love, & cheese -
Wow I really like this!! I can read a lot of my life in those lines.
I think you have left this abstract enough that the reader can interpret their own story to the words... though I am intrigued but what inspired it!
-
Wow.. this was really really good.. You could take this many ways.. Yet it all has the same meaning..lol. If that makes any sense.. My way of seeing this is, that the world is a dark place(sometimes) and we doubt ourselves in everything that we do, also. We blind ourselves willing from the truth sometimes.. But thats just me being weird and seeing to much into it more then likely..lol. great write. You did a really good job on this one..
Jetleena
-
wonderful poem. I agree with the last comments...nothing else is needed
-
Wow I think this is wonderful, I really don't think it needs anything else adding to it. Brilliant third stanza. A great write.
Adding your comment:
1 - 36 of 36
