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wisdom of ambiguity

so many summers and I have lived them too
so many stars and I have counted so few
I only have a mortal mentality
yet I have tried to define reality

to prove the human mortality
necessitates a fatality
metaphysical philosophy
psychological atrocity

there’s always been curiosity
that causes human veracity
and it’s not necessarily brave
to submit to the world as a slave

there’s a line that’s between the womb and the grave
you’ll do well on that line if you just behave
so I simply comply, conform and accrue
so many summers and I have lived them too

 

 

 

Author notes

Prompt: #13 Last line must be:”so many summers and I have lived them too”

Tet Zayin:
A form with a strict structure it does not have to be iambic. It has 16 lines or four quatrains.

Rhyme Scheme: Aabb bbcc ccdd ddaA

S1=11 syllables
S2=9 syllables
S3=9 syllables
S4 =11 syllables
Last line is the same as first.

or:

S1=11 syllables
S2=9 syllables
S3=11 syllables
S4 =9 syllables
Last line is the same as first.

In a list

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 15 of 15

  • Ellis gold member
    February 8
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    Terrific thought piece

    I'm behaving!


  • And Hyetal
    April 19, 2008

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    I almost thought this was free verse (obviously my favorite form ), but I scrolled down, and it wasn't! Amazing form, and you wrote it well. I loved reading this one.

    ~Cassie


  • Keith
    April 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I'm glad you chose to work with this line, beacause it comes from one of my favourite poems by Norman MacCaig, a Scottish poet, now deceased, who once visited the school where I worked. I've a feeling he'd like what you've done with his line.
    So Many Summers seems well known on the net, and i've found a link which also has an Italian translation of it! Two for the price of one.

    http://ilmareadestra.wordpress.com/2007/09/24/so-many-summers-norman-maccaig/


  • albymyheart gold member
    April 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    A deep dive into the meaning of life and perfectly housed in your chosen strict form. You are truly a master poetess. The flow, the meanings, the rhyme all appear so effortless, like the dance of a prima ballerina.

    My favourite lines...
    "there’s a line that’s between the womb and the grave
    you’ll do well on that line if you just behave"

    alby


  • StarEyes
    April 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    How do you do it? This is amazing! I love it!! What a great job you did on this one!! This is just outstanding!! I don't think I have seen this form too often... Amazing!!

    Best of luck in this contest!!

    and love

    Nyetta


  • PerVirtuous
    April 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is a massive work. It is clever and the form is perfect. The image is deep and very well constructed. It says many things on many levels. I love when you do that. It's like foreplay to my intellect. This looks like a winner to me.


  • Cannonsfire
    April 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    You never cease to amaze me with your ability to pen structure and form yet make it the gentlest thing to read and so profound. Beautifully executed, I am envious Love, C


  • malmadre gold member
    April 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I love everything about this, the words have so much deep meaning for me as I have lived so many summers, plus the rhyme flows so well but still has some freedom about it. The first stanza is my favorite..


  • creationsfromheart
    April 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I admire you for writing and dealing with syllables, I done a simple one and it took me , what seemed like forever to do! And it was still crap and only 7 lines I think lol, I never liked haikus and now I know why lol... YOu done this wonderfully the flow is excellent the ryme is smooth and above all the words are are soothing... I loved the first stanza well I loved them all!!!


    • Amera gold member
      April 18, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you, I love to write like this but most people don't understand it. I almost used more complex words in this but as Allan says; "you have to 'dumb' it up a bit". lol


  • cricketjeff gold member
    April 18, 2008

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    It makes life easy if you follow Mairi in the comments!!! I say it nearly every time but for me the key to poetry that requres repeating lines is the repeats must appear totally natural, you do that better than anyone on AP, and better than a whole lot of "dead poets".
    Other point is with 9 an 11 syllables it couldn't be purely iambic if you tried
    Also a lovely poem.


    • Mairi bheag gold member
      April 18, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      {elbowing in}

      I bet John Cooper Clarke could do the latter. He is the only poet I know who made iambic feet out of chewing gum. There is a wonderful pair of lines in his "Tw*t" which run:

      "Your life is like a fairy tale -
      (chew-chew-chew-chew) Grimm!"

      {butting out}

  • Mairi bheag gold member
    April 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    An intriguing form and a thoughtful poem. Technically, I like the way you have managed to make the last line run on from the previous one. Not always easy in forms where repetition of a line is needed. Do well in the contest, Sis.

1 - 15 of 15