your hands shake
a gale force wind
trying to resuscitate
mechanical hearts
with screwdrivers
prodding rough teeth
connecting pendulum aortas
each adjustment made
causes you to pull back
swish iron flavors
around in the mouth
tasting the mettle in blood
you thought Carl
tasted before he bled out
you loved
to talk Regulators
on sweet tea afternoons
over scents of freshly cut
grass and your neighbor's
motor oil
there was
one subject
that you "sho'nuff" never
spoke of saying
"it's not yo time to know, lil' Douglas"
the painful drawl of memory
creeping away
as a midnight intruder
stealing nothing
but the idea that body
doesn't betray mind
you hope to shut
them up by diving head first
into a clock
swimming
in space between gears
letting them pry
away skin
until it has confessed
muscle memory
of French field hospitals
where no one could fix
your brother's apparatus
"toujours le meme chanson"
one day
you will become
clock expert
use every gear and cog
to make heavy pendulums
swing low
Author notes
Part of a planned chapbook entitled "A Place of Their Own," outline and proposal at http://mixserv.jonathanstjames.com/chapbook_proposal.pdf
A contest entry
- A Call for Chapbooks by Judith Chandler.
525 points, ended May 2, 2008, 6 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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nice
Awesome tweaks of metaphor littered here and there throughout this entire brilliant poetic penning. You have a superb imagination, I like!!!!!!!!!! Stop by and see me sometime!
KEEP ON PENNING
POETDONTKNOWIT
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In the second stanza, "tasting the mettle in blood," did you mean "Metal" or "mettle"? If it's the latter, I don't get it... please explain?
This is very, very well written - I enjoyed every line, which is extremely unusual for me. The analogies, the metaphors, it's all very well tied together -
Good write. I am curious about "clapboard" I have heard therm.
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Thanks for the additional material. This is obviously not a new preoccupation for you! Very relevant to what is happening these days. As a history buff, I like the Merriweather (sp!) and Clark poem.
I will read this material in greater depth when I get the opportunity. There would definitely be a wider audience for it, I think. It reminds of a radio program I heard just today about the high suicide rate among Canadian soldiers in Afghanistan and I am sure the affect on troops from other countries is just as devastating.
Keep up the good work.
PS The supporting material could have been edited a bit but I really like the poems you have included as Appendixes. I assume they will be part of your finished chapbook. The supporting material is of some interest but, if you were thinking of including it in the chapbook itself, you might consider making a shorter version of it. -
I like the gritty quality of this piece but I would also like to get the Table of Contents that I specified; I did ask for the beginnings of a chapbook, not just a single poem. Nice start and pls. send me a comment if you have any questions or reread the contest specifications.
Thanks for your submission; hope to hear from you again re Table of Contents. -
I like the angry mixture of psycho americana. It's fun...and somehow amusing. Like a drunk guy on acid.
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