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Lover who Loves me

Lover
who loves me…
with every fiber of his being.
Like a moth, I set, mouth tightly closed…
Whilst words continue to grow in a garden of sweet lies…
I do not try and defend myself, as I have struggled so long
to let this true love fade and die.
Now I set here and
Cry.

Who
Could of known
one honest mistake would have bloomed,
into this garden of wrong , I lay my soul down to rest and I know
upon my lips, his kiss of love shall be eternally missed
and in my tomb, I pray for this love to cascade
and grace upon another
while I slowly
Die.

Loves
Poison bites intensely
Breaking a true lovers heart, is a profoundly darkened art...
one that hurts deeply in two hearts, that now stand alone in the dark.
One wondering why and the other living only to die.
Praying for a falling star to drift down from the sky,
wishing to look into true loves eyes asking one

 finial question of
Why

Me?
Was, I the cause...
Did I forget to remind you of my love?
I don’t understand, why things ended this way…
I loved you through it all, I believed in the, “You and I.”
I knew in my soul we had found the road to true loves destiny.
A life full of fairytales and living out our fantasy,
where love forever

"Lies".

Author notes

4) I have a lover who loves me, how can I break such a heart.

I picked this prompt as it will be a challange for me to write about.

'Lover who loves me' can be read from first word in each stanza.

Play on word at the end "lies"
Is because lies is the answer to why it ended this way.

This looks longer then the 20-30 lines but it realy isant if you change the stanza, It would only be 26 sentances...

This is another free verse form I am working with, I am a free writer as most know, yet I do like some formation with in each of my writes, have no name for this as of yet so will wait... I need a name for this form any help?

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 10 of 10

  • Endeavor gold member
    May 5, 2008

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    Very Good

    Did I forget to remind you of my love?
    I don’t understand, why things ended this way…
    I loved you through it all, I believed in the, “You and I.”
    I knew in my soul we had found the road to true loves destiny.
    A life full of fairytales and living out our fantasy,
    where love forever... "Lies".

    Wonderfull crafting of words

    Rick


  • Reptile Lady gold member
    April 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Your words left such an impact on me.
    The emotions and thoughts within captures my heart.
    I love this song, and you took the lines and made it into a masterpiece,.
    Thank you for your entry and best wishes
    Julie


  • Amera gold member
    April 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is captivating! Wonderful flow and emotional imagery. A lover may pass away but the love never does. Well done!

    Love,
    Amera♥


  • BuriedTreasures silver member
    April 18, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Very Very Well Done---Best of luck in the contest!


  • sapphireangelwings
    April 18, 2008

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    Wow! It's like you saw my heart break and then penned it to an amazing T.........the flow is so amazing and the form? What can one say about perfection? Except it's perfect. I can only strive to be as wonderful a poet as you! My favorite piece on AP right now.


  • Tarja
    April 18, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Okay... so where to begin... there are so many things about this piece that stand out... I'm not really sure if I can get to them all... I just ... adored the was you worked in 'Lover Who Loves Me' ... and the structure of them all... and the rhyming... and ... UGH!! It's just an amazing piece alright! My favorite from you EVER!!!!


  • word20dragon
    April 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Great Write

    This poem is sad a love that dies but yet you belive that if you hold on you can keep love from dying. "Loves poision bites intensely." That to me is powerfull because love is like a poision that bites you corupts your sensses and sensibilities. If love is dying set it free. Holding on to something thats not ment to be will drive a person mad


  • MysticalRayne
    April 18, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This looks great ~ and I know must have been challenging ~ best of luck in the contest ~ I love it


  • RedwingSpirit silver member
    April 18, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    nicely done what form is this one hehe Good Luck with it.


    • creationsfromheart
      April 18, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      actually i started playing with the mystical form doing it longer

      cant say I much like it this way, but worked out for the title but have to add 2 lines for it work which takes away completly from the mystical form to many words so , this is just a sloppy one from the mystical lol had to change it from 7 lines to nine lines also to get the free verse to pull together. changed from 7-9 which is a lot much more work and I don't want them to be work lol want them to be free lol

1 - 10 of 10