When learning of his true intentions,
wind drew its sword to my throat
respiring two edges~
one side...
capturing my heart
the other...
puncturing it.
Author notes
the day i stopped breathing
25 words
A contest entry
- Prompt 10 entries/ 30 words more or less by mysticstorm.
475 points, ended April 18, 2008, 11 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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A nice play....
How does a sword capture someones heart
? Just kidding of course 
I like the idea you had hear...its hard to make an impact with such few words, but it is apparent that you have succeeded. Whenever a woman finds out a man's true intentions I am quite sure it is always a double edged sword...
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i hope not... for my sake.
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Wonderful
What a great take on the prompt. Congrats on the silver.
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you definately captured it....the emotion of love that somehow went wrong. i can totally relate to this. absoluelely wonderful, and i love the title. simply amazing, definately deserved silver, if not gold.
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Too Much!
Whoa!!! Have you ever thought of being a writer?
This is just too much! Fun to read for sure. "The day I stopped breathing". . .too good!!!
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ouch
To be so short, that's really strong...
must be a dagger...
I like blades, they're hanging all over my walls.
I won't cutya though
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that's really good to know.
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Very beautiful in sadness...such a touching and creative write...love the imagery and mataphor...very awe inspiring...excellent...
thank you for entering! -
you know, i just got a new sword! but its only sharp on one side. lol, GREAT poem, as always. you never cease to amaze me with how you can say so much with so few words.
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Very well done!
Expressed very creatively in such a few lines. I could actually picture this. Best of luck in the contest!
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thank you
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