cruelty upon cruelty
compounded into a kiss
a tight little choked kiss
strangled and drawn with no breath
alone scared hurt
crying always crying
inside
broken alone
trying to hold on
to some figmant of a man
pain overflowing
broken
broken
gone
gone
not love
not love
alone
Author notes
I hurt
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Karlie,
The way you wrote this was... impressive. It was as though the words, as they were thinning down, were a rope wrapping themselves around my throat - and by the end, I could hardly breathe.
I felt... choked... by pain - your pain.
An amazing write.
I feel so terrible for you... I want to reach out to you, to hug you, and let you know that it's okay to hurt, to cry, to be scared... but it's also okay to trust, believe, feel, even to love again.
You're going to be all right. I know you will. You're stronger than even you could imagine.
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When things appear to be falling apart, focus on what you truly can control. You cannot control the feelings of others, so don't try. You have enough to worry over in yourself, your baby, your future. You cannot control their reactions to the things you do or say, but you can control what you do in their presence and what you tell them. Take it a day at a time. An if that is too overwhelming, then an hour at a time...or even a minute. You cannot control love--how it finds you (or doesn't) nor how you want it to be. It may not be love, but are you really alone?
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The easy path is not always the best way to take, fear, sorrow, misunderstanding are easy. Much harder is happiness, for happiness takes work, for the other you need only sit wait and despair.
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