Fortune and Glory
By: Star of Atlantis
Fortune and Glory
were walking together one day
their conversation went a little like this:
Fortune: i have money wealth and riches
i can buy any life there is
Glory: that may be so but i have something you can't know
Fortune: i can experience it all
there is nothing i can't buy
Glory: you may think so but i know something you won't know
Fortune: your just the fame that comes along the road
without me you know nothing and have nothing
we go hand in hand it's me that brings you about
without me you just fade out.
Glory: you fool, gory is not fame...
its a gift, a light, a way...
you can not buy it
if you try then your only buying empty fame
you will tire of it some day
when your life you've sold
Fortune: i think we must go our own way
i will go to find my own glory and
leave you without a fortune
(Fortune walks away, off to seek adventure!)
(Glory watches sadly as Fortune goes)
Glory: i shall miss you my friend,
you were lost before you even began.
Author notes
http://allpoetry.com/Star%20of%20Atlantis
A contest entry
- RAIDERS OF THE LOST WRITES Encouragement Tournament by Blue Rew.
1050 points, ended May 3, 2008, 4 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
please be very detailed in your coments and give me plenty to learn about how you view my piece. thank you.
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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what a delightful metaphorical dialogue of wisdom ! I truly enjoyed this little story, and am sure that, through its lighthearted way of revealing a profound message of truth, it will conquer many hearts ...
another masterpiece in this contest !
maa
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i have corrected the mistakes. but i didnt take the idea of the explination point only because the voice i read it in is pitty not a calling him it to be mean kind of way... it shouldnt stand out that he is calling him a fool...
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This is such a creative take on the prompt.
I find it inspiring that someone can take a
"basic" conversation and weave it into a poem
with layered meaning.
and too,
there is a vast difference in perspective when one
ponders the meanings of "fortune" and "Glory"...
your words leave room for molding these characters
to personal views.
I did notice several grammar/punctuation errors
that distract a wee bit from the enjoyment of this
piece. A few examples below, but it would benefit
greatly from a proofread:
"there conversation" should be 'their'
"Glory: you fool gory is not fame..." try~
"Glory: you fool! glory is not fame;"
"you were lost before you even begin" should
read 'began'
This was a pleasure to read and reread as I
have done over this week. It speaks of
humble priorities and wisdom. Blue
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i have dislexia and so i LOVE that you have taken the time to help me fix my hominim errors... thank you sooooo much!!!! this is the kind of feed back i really like
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A very incredible write by you!!! You truly are gifted and this was just awe inspiring!! Very well done and best of luck
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thank you this is what i like to call off the cap poetry... something just came to me it didnt need much tweeking and i just wrote it down.... sometimes the muse is nice and gives out luck... glad you liked it and thank you for commenting.
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honest
refreshing lil convo / write and oh so true that crazy fortune
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yeah but not everyone can understand glory... i think i am probably a bit more fortune and fame rather that glory myself... but i am glad you liked the write and i apperciated the comment thank you for reading
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