Sweet butterfly
sway upon my petals
luminescent wings
-embrace nectar-
Until the moon light settles
In a list
A contest entry
- Gerberas by Lavender Butterfly.
420 points, ended April 17, 2008, 12 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Romance.. (guys only) by Angelflower.
1340 points, ended May 27, 2008, 34 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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and the petal bends
the slow languid sip,
brushing a tongue
across the fire of lips...
C
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this was really short yet it was beautiful in it's simplicity.. Well done.. best of luck..
Angel
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Wow this was beautiful! I was actually going to enter this contest as well, but I couldn't get inspired for some reason lol. You did an amazing job, beautiful imagery, so calming to read. Congrats on the silver!
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Wow... Your descriptions in this piece are just magnificent, stunning... Lovely to say the least. I can see why you won silver... This is just... wow
Your short descriptions are very vivid however very short... They are wonderful and really hold a wonderful image.
This is amazing.
Wonderful write
Thank you for sharing
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This is just stunning... x
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Nice write
Good luck
Simon -
I like the imagery created between the title, and the lumenecent wings bit, as well as if you actually know what a gergeras is, it makes it all the better
Nice work poet. -
actually to me, the imagery i got was a little contradictory to the title but it all depends on what you as the author saw from this perspective i guess. is this some different form of poetry because of it being so short? im not familiar with it but i really like this piece. its beautiful and i really did love the imagery i got from it [it just seemed a little different from what i thought you were trying to portray but it was good] really nice write.
good job
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well done
Flows nicely.
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Proof that short and sweet still exist. The imagery in just a few simple words is soooo amazing!
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I think the piece is under titled, in other words, the piece itself and the thought it evokes is greater than the title. The use of "Multicolored" in the title is a a sure clue you mean something more than a buttefly on a flower. I did enjoy greatly the added demention of , and the surge of sensual imagery. You have written that very nicely in this piece. Very good word choices to carry the dual meanings. In line 1 you seem to have dropped the f in "butterly". Nicely written. Geo
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this poem is beautiful. it says so much in so few words. best of luck in the contest.
Keira
--- Liloven -
Awww! Gerbera daisies are so pretty, and in bloom, and one of my favorite flowers. This is swwet and nicely done.
~S~G~
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this is such a cute poem.
short but sweet, i really like it
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Sweet!
Everthing about this nature poem is sweet and short. Sometimes the shorter sparser poems take more time to compose. What form is this? Just wondering. Keep writing!
Erik
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