Roses in a vase of white,
Bloodied by the thorns of spite.
Roses in a vase of green,
Bloodied by the thorns unseen.
Roses in a vase of red,
Bloodied by the thorns it shed.
Roses in a vase of gray,
Bloodied by the thorns each day.
Roses in a vase of blue,
Bloodied by the thorns so true.
Roses in a vase of pink,
Bloodied by the thorns that sink.
She clips their petals,
One by one they fall,
The darkness settles,
This will end it all.
She sets aside the clippings,
Taking the scissors to her arm,
As her wrist starts its dripping,
Her mind screams in feeble alarm.
The drought these roses have had,
She dangles her wrist above,
And now they'll never be sad,
Because I give them my love.
Fill the colored vases full,
Let it dribble down the side,
And beneath it, form a pool.
All these bloodied tears I've cried.
A contest entry
- Tears Ran Dry, Echoes Of Sadness (( Give Me Dark, Creepy, Sad, Cutting, Suicide, Ex.)) by HereComesTheSun.
550 points, ended September 14, 2008, 50 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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I see you won an HM on a very awesome poem! I really like this piece. Sad and dark but highly emotional! Great imagery! So, how's Cali? Ten is windy and warm....unusally.... lol
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I like this..Its cool n sick and emotional...I am so glad I stopped by...
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Oh, this was so sad and beautiful. How could anyone have stated it with more perfection. Sweet and melodramatic. It made me hurt.
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Roses in a vase of blue,
Bloodied by the thorns so true.
Roses in a vase of pink,
Bloodied by the thorns that sink.
this is my fave part by far, i think this poem is so brilliantly well written and one of the best i have read in o so long, well done on this marvellous write, the reputition is so brilliantly used and even though it is a long poem i was hooked on it from the beginning and couldn't stop reading it. well done, i mean it. good luck in this contest. -
*shivers* pretty, so pretty, the life blood spilling out for all the world to see...but also unsettling, and sad, for that stuff is meant to remain inside, where it will do the most good...well done!
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Well, it's very colorful to say the least. It flows very nice and the rhyming seems very genuine. I love that you set up the scene, so it was so vivid. I felt like I was watching this in person! Really, it's simply amazing!
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such a unique poem on cutting and yet the color you incorporated created story and a work of art, welcome to finalist
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i loved the way you used so much colour, it helps to vividly paint the picture of the scene. i have to say it took a turn i didnt expect with the part where it said
"She sets aside the clippings,
Taking the scissors to her arm,
As her wrist starts its dripping,
Her mind screams in feeble alarm."
it was very expressive, i think also the way you talked about the different thorns could relate to life, the thorns of spite, thorns unseen, thorns so true, etc. etc.
i loved the imagery in this poem, however sad and almost disturbing it may be.
well done on this, its different. i love poems with repetition too, so yeah, great work!
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There were certain parts of this poem that felt like the rhyme was a bit forced, but for the most part it flowed nicely. I am definitely impressed with the whole of it, definitely brutal in its imagery and emotion. You did a great job.
Write on.
~*~SP~*~ -
Great imagery! Love the use of colors and emotions associated with them. Somewhat sad and depressing poem yet still beautiful.
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GREAT!
I really liked your poem. The rhyming was amazing, and I love how you switched it up when you changed from the roses in a vase (insert color) then to the "she clips their petals" I loved that changing! ooh, in the beginning, the second stanza firstline, theres an extra space between the last words. just thought I'd let you know! Also, it's great how you started with the color white, most of time if people are talking about colors in their poems they almost always start with red or black and it sets a mood for a dark poem, when a lot of the time it isn't. well this was amazing!! keep up the great work! -Pammie
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