The
sky
slipped
into
a
coma
today
and
I
wonder
if
we
sometimes
stare
at
the
same
sun.
Author notes
option 5.
A contest entry
- All aboard!!!!!!!!! by PoeticEmily.
450 points, ended May 3, 2008, 6 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
-
wow, talk about a lot in a little - very nice. the formatting kinda bugged me - just having a single sentence would be more powerful than a word, five lines, next word...
On to the poem itself - "The sky slipped into a coma today" - brilliant beginning. It sounds a bit like a weather report - makes me laugh - but it turns into something very different. Very nice.
There are almost too many words -
"The sky slipped into a coma today. I wonder if we sometimes stare at the same sun."
such great work - GOOD JOB!!!!

