~ quote inspired ~
"You are free to sever the chains of fate that bind you..."
The Alabaster Hand
By: Star of Atlantis
Fate has such a pretty hand.
you yearn for her caress
and wait for it with your choking breath
She tempts you...
and twists you...
mesmerizingly, she lures you...
Her hand so pretty in alabaster
with silver bangles at the wrist
invitation to suffering worse than death
Her lovely white fingers
the seduction of your soul
tightly strangling the chain around your neck
Fate is a wryly wench,
a bonny lass, a tease,
her trap leaves you free to choose...
But the chains that bind you to your path,
were laid out long before you walked it,
and there is nothing, you can do!
A contest entry
- Freedom of fate by phantomwriter.
450 points, ended April 23, 2008, 7 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
please be very detailed in your coments and give me plenty to learn about how you view my piece. thank you.
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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Not bad ...
but it sounds a lot like predestination. Are you a Presbyterian?
Anyway, all in all, it's a credible job. Congrats on the Gold trophy.
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Excellent imagery and flow. You used the prompt to maximum effect. Congratulations on your gold win.
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thank you for the read let me hope this means you found this poem by my contest and that your planning on entering into it. i cant wait to see what you come up with
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This was beyond stunning!! This entered a new realm of poetic genious!!! I stand here speechless.....Other than bloody fantastic!!!
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thank you i am pleased you liked it.... thank you for the complement. i think this is the first time i have had a poem called genious... thank you but wow i am speachless my self at such prase
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great vobabulary and flow!! just an all around great poem! great job and good luck in your contest!
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so glad that you dropped in for a read thank you i am glad you liked it
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you have a very eloquent vocabulary, and it compliments not only the piece, but the quote prompt as well. I like your characterization of Fate as a person, rather than an intangible idea. The imagery that I get from this piece is also very remeniscient of the quote's source. Thank you very much for entering this piece, and best of luck
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thank you... wow that was fast i just posted it an already it has cought your attention... the quote is gripping. i loved it!!! there are a million things i could write about it. i would love to know its sourse and its author so i can notate it... thank you again for your comment its wonderful of you to take the time to get what i am writing... i am so sick of the one liner comments so thank you for giving your true thoughts on the piece.
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