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Smash Town Alley

You can buy a postcard of the execution
They put up the gallows just out of town
The women have bought their knitting
As the circus comes to town
And here comes blind justice stumbling
They have her doped up and in a trance
With one hand tied behind her back
As she does a skipping dance
Now the drug squad's looking restless
They have nowhere else to go
Watching dreams that curl above them
In Smash Town Alley a place I know

We saw goodwill go a hunting
Disappearing without a trace
It passed away about an hour ago
Because it couldn't bear to face
All the frightened, hungry people
That had all come down to stare
Begging cigarettes and other poisons
F*ck, there was magic in the air

We saw a salesman peddling snake oil
As he shouted out his wares
He was reciting the Magna Carta
But no one paid attention or really cared
He used to be famous or so they tell me
I'm really not sure, I just don't know
He was left for dead in Smash Town Alley
Where they're made to eat humble pie and crow

Amelia peeks from behind the curtains
Because she is so deathly afraid
She turned eighteen last November
They're already calling her an old maid
She reads the classics and it's a wonder
She knows anything at all
The last I heard her heart was broken
She never recovered from the fall
Now they speak of her in whispers
I never knew her, this much I know
You are doomed to this perdition
In Smash Town Alley where all lost dreams flow

And the women on the sidewalks
Call out to all the passer-bys
Showing off their greatest assets
And still I often wonder why
Come and get it I hear them calling
As they parade up and down the streets
It's not easy when your blinded
By all the people that we meet

I read your letter that you wrote me
Just before I heard the news
There was bloodshed at the crossing
The police and ambulance were abused
And those people that you spoke of
I used to know them all by name
But I had to re-arrange all the letters
So I could see their faces plain

Just remember what I told you
Sometimes you never can return
To a place like Smash Town Alley
Where all the martyrs are left to burn...


A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 13 of 13

  • Ami
    July 6

    Edit | Reply
    Great lyric I picture this kind of sung like stone sour Awesome & true lyrics!

    Thank you so much for entering my contest and
    Good luck!

    -♥Amy♥


  • londiscarpenter
    May 3
    Edit | Reply

    Nicely Done

    A very good entry. Thanks for entering


  • condor gold member
    January 2

    Edit | Reply
    A great adventure told here and I am not sure that anyone can win in this place, no matter who they are. A lot of disappointment and wondering going on by all it seems. I love the whole piece as it is, as it gives a feeling of concern and darkness that could spill over to a lot of places. Your imagery took me into a scene of despair and regret, and I feel that this would have to be a somewhat sordid little place to visit. Very well done indeed and thank you so much for entering.

  • kistoclou
    September 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Okay

    Okay I thought that your poem was very deep, but it was also very confusing. I liked some of your imagery but some of it could have been better. It was a little long and my attention was'nt kept throughout it. In fact you kept intermixing third and first person kinda weirdly like you were there but you weren't and you knew how others felt. Ex the girl looking out behind the curtains. You could have maybe questioned what she thought now that she was called an "old maid" or something. It just had to much. Take some out, be a bit more specific to what is exactly going on, and use some better imagery on some parts. Oh and take out the Rhyming. The A B C B format just isn't appealing to me, sry. Thanks for your entry though (sry I told you I might tear it apart, if you do this before I judge you could still win a trophy by the way) 68 line (note for if you changed anything)


  • leander Moderators member
    May 6, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    You have definately managed to keep the rhyming consisten, and I like to see that in lengthy poetry as this
    There's quite a sad feeling within these lines, but you've done a remarkable job with this.

    Well done!
    Leander


  • mysticstorm gold member
    May 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I truly enjoyed this all the way through...your lines are amazing enough to keep ones interest to the end...very sad but realistic to life...
    hese are my favorite lines, the hit hard and well "You can buy a postcard of the execution"
    "And here comes blind justice stumbling
    They have her doped up and in a trance
    With one hand tied behind her back
    As she does a skipping dance
    Now the drug squad's looking restless
    They have nowhere else to go
    Watching dreams that curl above them
    In Smash Town Alley a place I know"
    but the whole write is excellent...
    Wonderful work!
    Best to you!


  • ellipsist
    May 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    interesting rhyme scheme... epic in length... I think this certainly deserves another read before a final decision is made... I like the flow for the most part... the final stanza seems almost redundant - while it is not repetitive of anything mentioned previously in the poem, it seems to restate things in a sort of general way - a way in which I might expect things to be summed up at the end of a story but not a poem... having said that, though, this is a small qualm... I like the piece quite a bit and shall return to r-read it and possibly to comment further


  • Fourthaxis
    April 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    OMG

    Wow! What a great write!:] Amazing poem!
    "You can buy a postcard of the execution"
    "And here comes blind justice stumbling
    They have her doped up and in a trance
    With one hand tied behind her back
    As she does a skipping dance
    Now the drug squad's looking restless
    They have nowhere else to go
    Watching dreams that curl above them
    In Smash Town Alley a place I know"
    Loved these lines. A great rhyme! Awesome storyline, quite intense and with a dark humour. Bravo!
    "To a place like Smash Town Alley
    Where all the martyrs are left to burn..."
    Great ending! Lots of luck in the contest and God Bless!

  • Poetryintheblood gold member
    April 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Being a newly converted lover of darkness, this is awesome, thank you for your entry, and good luck, Josie


  • kissingsolitude
    April 23, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    awesome write

    i love this poem, it moves me.....its great

  • celadia
    April 22, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Interesting, good flow.


  • Auburn Sunrise gold member
    April 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Interesting concept and creative use of the prompt.
    It has an excellent rhythmic flow, and there are parts that gave me "Ah-ha" moments, you know dawnings of realization.
    The rhyme was well done also.
    Good luck in the contest!


  • leslielovesthomas
    April 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Holy Sh*t!! :o

    Wow!!! This is amazing! I'm so glad you shared this with me The rhyme is awesome, such a beautifully written poem. I find it sad but the way you have penned this is beyond my words to critique because I find nothing!

    I love this stanza:

    We saw goodwill go a hunting
    Disappearing without a trace
    It passed away about an hour ago
    Because it couldn't bear to face
    All the frightened, hungry people
    That had all come down to stare
    Begging cigarettes and other poisons
    F*ck, there was magic in the air

    This poem took me somewhere and told a story and I thoroughly enjoyed reading it!!

    Great write!

    Leslie

1 - 13 of 13