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Column of Hope

Despair...
...Nothing more
Nothing less

A sea...
...of darkness

And I...
...stand alone

Defiant
Standing against the
Blasting current

A column of hope
In an ocean
Of...
...misery

Author notes

Trying out a new style...and it fell on its face Sooo this is pretty bad and I really want to improve it...suggestions please!

Pic inspired - art done by Frodofan

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 10 of 10
  • carole21
    June 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    nice write and good use of the new form . . liked "A sea of darkness" and " A column of hope" . . well done


  • Powered by Tofu
    May 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    i like how you wrote it.
    mysterious.
    when living life and all seems wrong, the only thing that keeps you going is hope.
    it reminds me off a book i'm reading now, "obsessed" by ted dekker
    theres parts that are about the nazi camps and how they treat the jews.
    it's horrible.
    and the only thing that kept them going was hope.
    great write!
    xoxo,
    --gooshawn <3


  • passionate-poet
    April 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    i find it amazing how vivid your poetry is for someone at such a young age and funny enough i wanted to say that because when i look back i was younger than that when i was writing poetry like this its funny the things you forget in such short years, this is beautifully tragic very sad but i love how you depict it perfectly ! i love your talent for writing!


  • Puppydog gold member
    April 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    SO SMOOTHE AND RELAXING TO READ!!!

    There is much hope within your words and as reading they just fall off of ones lips so gently and soothingly.'s


  • kiwigirljacks gold member
    April 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I love the style and the strength behind this poem! There is always hope... and hope can create strength to endure!
    Fab write


  • kareneisenlord gold member
    April 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    It really spoke to me, with a depth that has clarity and vision. I identified so with the last stanze;

    "A column of hope
    In an ocean
    Of...
    ...misery"

    The imagery was great throughout. Thank you for posting this here for us to read.


  • xxhoopstar21xx
    April 16, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    WOW THIS IS GREAT

    WOW GREAT!


  • paperbackwriter
    April 16, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    vey cool


  • Frodofan
    April 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I didn't expect anyone to write from the column's perspective. I like the concept! And I like the lines, "Defiant/Standing against/The ever blasting current." I think I would have left the "the" on the end of the second line of that section though, just to put more emphasis on the following part. I might even remove "ever."

    Thanks for entering!


    • liduen silver member
      April 16, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Ok...I see what you mean...I'll change that. Thanks!

1 - 10 of 10