She shadowed her sullen face with pigment
ignoring the standing crystal drops
in the bathroom's sink;
grim reflection peering from the drain,
pointing out every 'imperfect' pore...
She covers in
foundation's bone to powdered spine
against the bruise of a face defiled.
aubergine blemish; beatings born
in silent conformity.
Painted perceptions in soulless eyes,
deadened with every stroke
of society's brush;
eyes' glint rubbed out.
Beneath a gilded beauty lies
pernicious perjury;
decadence dealt on rubied lips
parted like her legs.
Impaled by greed, a subtle rape
that gnaws between the sheets
of fabricated lust
sustained by muted cries;
I silenced
...
~~~
Author notes
'for external use only' Marty and Cassie's collaboration
project poetry round 1
...
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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Clappies
Here, let me pat myself on the back...
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You know all these points go to me, right?
mwahahahaha
*pats Marty on the back... pokes him in the ribs*
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You guys had a concept that grew throughout the entire poem. I like that.
Going through though, I had to question if some of the phrases were clichéd or not. For example the crystals [tears] in the sink & the whole “not finding yourself perfect enough by society’s standards”, yeahhhh. That’s nothing new, but you know that.
What was good though, was the ending few stanzas. The rape. It made for an interesting interpretation. You can go where you want to with that action & I appreciate that. The lips spread like the legs? Amazing. Simply amazing. I loved that image.
& I agree with Chandni. I couldn’t tell who wrote what, though I figured Marty would be the one to dominate the partnership.
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Weeeeeeeeell... Marty had really good lines, but I THINK I came up with the make-up idea, so there.
But darn it, rape was Marty's idea.
tankies for the nice comment.
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You DID come up with the idea. And we worked AMAZING together. I say we pat ourselves both on the back. We DESERVE it.
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pardner.
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Oh, it makes too much sense to capture the vogue (airhead?) crowd whose only messages are 'envy me'... pretty powerful piece otherwise, if a bit mundane stylistically, a few obsfucations here and there would fix that, however, such as creating an unclear sentence out of "beatings born in silent conformity", which is way too understandable to be accepted by the 'in' crowd...
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Marty pushed me here [how'd you deal with him?!]
haha, I liked this. The allteration worked well and you both work good together - I couldn't see where you both started and ended - so that's a good thing!
Never ♥
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I dealt... We kept getting distracted by random stuff (and apparantly he knows what my hair smells like
), but we got back on track. 
He kept editing every part that I wrote and I left his alone, so maybe that's why it was 'seamless'.
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What? Only a little...*grins* And you edited a couple of my words. So there
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explain the 'smells like roses' comment, then.
to your WIFEY, too.
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haha
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Awesome work you two.
I hope to see more from you guys.
Be Well
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This collaboration pens deep thoughts.
The first stanza opening is very good, as are the others.
But to me the one that stands out is the final stanza, with some amazing words that are graphic yet tastefully written.
I silenced leaves us thinking what was next
Love ya
Auntie
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