______________
I. Ethereal
______________
it was peculiar, uncharacteristic of my other dreams,
which usually consist of me forcing myself into a state of transparency
before my neighbors dog (god); a ghost of two ghosts in love
photons through leaves [me alone]
electrician fucked between + & -
too much sky in eye in I
and always in front our red wooden fence
i ate a five pound block of air
when I first saw the pixilated faces of them
and I became becoming
______________
II. Cessation
______________
coughee table with coughee ring eyes
saw [bumblebee] beautiful
Darkest Annie looking for her breath
the walker left it at Golgotha where Arthritis
pressed Tetragrammaton in the blood of the lamb
"Ibuprofen; Paracetamol please!"
--and Linoleum watched handsome Herman Lee
as Milky Way and Sugar Cookie rocked him to the ether
______________
III. Descent
______________
the cum dripping dragons and the great salamanders
only affirmed that my position was no longer pleasant
or physical, but lucid and dire; ethereal
yes, yes, even Metatron is not permitted to sit,
not is this place of diabolic Newtonian alchemy
and draconian geometry
this much I can tell
atop my aeronautical squid
______________
IV. Ascension
______________
I swapped my dank ass sneakers for some dope wings
and swam like a specter among a thousand through shadow
the form of a single subterranean archetype bleached
--the iota of my escape
now, forever and always above clouds, filled with love
I will devour the sun and glow
Author notes
Surrealism! What is Surrealism? In my opinion, it is above all a reawakening of the poetic idea in art, the reintroduction of the subject but in a very particular sense, that of the strange and illogical.
PAUL DELVAUX, lecture, 1966
This piece has been a work in progress for some time, this is its complete and final form.
A contest entry
- Where's my stinkin' trophy? by Great Cthulhu.
1500 points, ended April 25, 2008, 47 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - poets anonymous;; auditions. (prewrites) by etoile.
1175 points, ended August 18, 45 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
the devil is in my Castlevania III cartridge
Comments
1 - 31 of 31
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yes
this is really unique and I really like how you wrote this
please wait for the other judges comments -
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Thank you
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no
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now that is art, poetry, all that corrupts the abomination known as mental complacency. BM 'ing dat un.
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stuff like this is what makes poetry unique. smart kid..
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sick
really great. dreams provide an endless bank don't they? rock on. very eclectic and, consequently, awesome collection of imagery and language -
wasn't this just wild...
you should put a warning on it.........
buckle up........you are in for a wild piercing ride!
loved it! way to write!
ears/Seattle
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Wow. I've been meaning to read this piece for awhile, and I'm so glad I did. I don't really know what to say, honestly. Clever, and quirky, and funny. Everything that poetry such as this good be. And great job with the surrealism. Thank you for writing this piece, and for sharing it.
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Thank you. I'm very glad you enjoyed it!
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Yes!
This is an absolutely impressive surreal vision. It's almost laid out like an incomprehensible user's guide book. This was a lot of fun to read, amazing imagery. this is my favorite stanza:
"i ate a five pound block of air
when I first saw the pixilated faces of them
and I became becoming" - very nice! Keep your pen to the page and thanks for playing along!
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Absolutely amazing!! Reminds me of me so much!
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I feel like I am being taken on a pyschedelic road trip (experimental youth), that I am watching thoughts in the subconcious and conscioue merge and warp and twist and dance to haunting, beautiful music. This is a fabulous experience to read and let melt into my skin. Thank you!
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No, thank you. : )
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I liked the way that you broke this up into different sections. Each one was so deep and full of thought, I am still sitting here if i understood everything, and knowing deep down that i do not. Your writing is very unique, i truly believe that you spent much time on this piece, and that this final rendition is truly well rounded and complete. Somehow, saying that it is beautiful would still now do justice, so all i can say is... keep thinking and keep writing.
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Thank you very much. I appreciate your kind words.
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wow
i stand (or sit as the case may be) in awe..very unique..so nouveau (is that the right word?) from any other work I have read..in my humble opinion this is absolute trophy...(my little brain does not word that way hehe)thanx so much for sharing..blessings..namaste..
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totally brill.
i loved your word choice (very particular) it made the entire poem work flawlessly. you clearly have a lot of talent and possibly an abstract mind if you are able to produce something so unique. fabulous work, i will be keeping an eye out for more from you.
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Thank you so much. I am flattered.
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Excellent!!!
This is one fine piece of poetry. I am, uh, astonished so much that it left me near speechless. I cannot say that I understood half of the allusions here. But I find this really cool. May I recommend the novel "house of leaves" (see my profile) to you, I think it's the same verve and might be interesting. Mouth gaping in awe: Götz
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Thank you very much; I have read house of leaves, one of my favorites. Have you read Only Revolutions, it's the sequel?
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yes yes yes indeed!
Now this is the type of stuff I wanna read! This is 21st Century poetry. I love the video game context, it's something I've been playing with lately too. Nintendo and mind expansions plague us so! You've done here with Surrealism what I'm trying to achieve working in Beat. I invite comments on my work too, as I'm new and as of yet, have none! Pixellated reality, more "real" than the the staccato scream of the lens
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it was really awesome.
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Truly exceptional work.
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Excellent!
I teach English at the college level and I have never read anything that made such and impression on me. Truly
exceptional work. -
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Thank you so very much!
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I LOVE THIS
surrealism=fabulous, and you did it better than many. i applaud you! alot!
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Thank ye!
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awesome!
this is fantastic. i haven't been to this site in years only to come back and read this gem. wicked! i'm glad you're alive dude. -
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Ha ha, thank you very much for the kind words. I'll be sure to read some of your work in the near future. Thanks-a-million!
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Provacative!!!
This was an amazing piece. Full of all the things surrealizm is known for. Reminded me of the melting watch. I loved reading this. Very refreshing in a world where everything for me has become mundane. Keep writing like this and you will go far. Most original piece I have read in a very long time.
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Thank you. I am most glad you enjoyed it!
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