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On Wednesday I undressed for Manuel Bandeira

Missing image

 

 

 

 

and thoughts lingered on skin; like onion layers
shimmering underdark 
with O-ness to every pore.


I have poured myself over
and over in unclad unbeauty,

likened you to Neruda's lovers; Poet of my sight.

bled into these are the nuances
kept inside, almost never spoken
even to You.

what of hands that speak in braille?
adagio moments forgotten
of when-where and what-becomes of how
to hold: naked and undone, I am rounded.

Peel me, to the readiness of Your eyes.

 

 

 

 



 

 

 

 

 









 

In a list

A contest entry

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 27 of 27

  • Wandika gold member
    April 22, 2008
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    Wow!


  • ten thousand cicadas gold member
    April 21, 2008

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    So many wonderful phrases here! "unclad unbeauty...poet of my sight... hands that speak in braille..peel me, the readiness of your eyes..." Wonderful stuff. So worthy to be recognized! Love it!


  • Mari Goes gold member
    April 19, 2008
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    This is so more than excellent, it's perfectly inspired!

    Mari


  • toomysterious
    April 19, 2008
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    Like the onion, this poem had many layers and I enjoyed every one. It is simply beautiful.


  • DogFish silver member
    April 18, 2008
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    I...like onions.


  • just rob gold member
    April 17, 2008

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    Wow!

    I was transfixed. Seldom is my first impression one of thoughts like unique, clever. Usually, in fact, I think of clever as bad. This showed me the error in that thinking.

    When O-ness appeared, I knew I was gonna read this multiple times, savor it like a small entree in the best restaurant. Peel you, indeed. In a set where naked {in the larger nmeaning} is so overused, here it reverberates. This is a painted nude, nude beyond the visual, to the soft center of us, the sweet bitter nuance that another seldom sees.

    I think mine is actually quite good, and I was stoked when I read it aloud.

    This one is another level of good. Never mind the contest, congrats on finding this poem in yourself.


  • RadioPJ
    April 17, 2008

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    like a whisper you have spoken the words "almost never spoken," poured them out for us, bled them onto us. a layer of sublime.


  • Heart Sutra
    April 17, 2008

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    Uh, I want to look like that in an outfit like that and have a little fancy cool poem in my purse like this one.


  • katfair
    April 16, 2008

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    lingering
    shimmering &
    pouring

    adagio moments

    unclad &
    peeling

    ohhhh gorgeousness

    ready 4 the blossom of nakedness your poem sings

    all senses are happy!


  • Elora Danon gold member
    April 16, 2008

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    This is simply beautiful Gilly.

    "What of hands that speak in braille?" Damn woman. I might just have to steal that one.

    I'm with Suzie. I think we all feel uncomfortable naked whether it be without our clothing or without our defenses.

    Love you sweetie!


  • Thoughts-of-Soloman
    April 16, 2008

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    Never mind 'unbeauty', what's that got to do with it?
    There's no such thing anyway!
    Wooooahrr... 'steamy' or what!!!

    Sol x

  • Rowan gold member
    April 16, 2008

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    Oh, yummmmy. You weave tenderness and sensuality with such knowing hands. Beautifully naked.
    Hey... how'd my picture get on the net?


    • NurseChilly gold member
      April 16, 2008
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      it's you?? well fuck me, do me!!!

      hehehehheheheheheh

      • Rowan gold member
        April 16, 2008
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        you naughty, naughty trollop...hehehe.
        Okay.

  • Suzanne Dia
    April 16, 2008

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    Beauty, Gill.

    I like the way you are writing these insecurities out as well, they are tender now, they don't bite as they used to. We all feel uncomfortable naked, I think the only thing that changes is what we consider to be naked.

    I'd like to remain clothed, and guarded

    I'm a well dressed broad

    Oh..and my shoes rock!



    Love you, pretty lady.

    • NurseChilly gold member
      April 16, 2008
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      I love you too, and yes... I think I'm finally growing up somewhat... a little less harsh on myself, but that is because of lovely lassies like you




  • layla.
    April 16, 2008

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    niice... this is very steamy... O and the rounded reminded me of onion... an onion ready to get peeled.

  • tara wilson gold member
    April 16, 2008
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    "Peel me, to the readyness of Your eyes."


    gorgeous...





  • Shannon
    April 16, 2008

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    mmm, all women are rounded. Yes, peeling. Man must have so much fun!

    Sexy! I was in a very sexy mood this morning, so this was perfect to read!

    Hmm, I hope you're rounding around someone soon.


  • Ariosto II. gold member
    April 16, 2008

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    Gill...you're NAKED!

    really, really liked this one (I am a sucker for flesh afterall)

    get some gold, baby!


  • Peteskid gold member
    April 16, 2008

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    A pleasing reflection of the inspiration in these skillful verses, bring a sense of passion and a tone of wanting that is remarkable, depth of expression; wonderful imagery of sensation - has the feeling of words between caring hearts. Thank you for this fine entry into the contest and best of luck in the judging...PK


  • Namita
    April 16, 2008

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    L6 *likened

    This is so sexy! So sensual, and passionate. Especially towards the end.

    "of when-where and what-becomes of how
    to hold: naked and undone, I am rounded"

    Wow. But I don't know about the opening. Is the first line the continuation of the title? If it is, then its fine... a great poetess here on AP has once told me about starting the poem with "and"... she said that it makes the reader feel like the poet is trying to be poetic.

    Here, I read the title and first line together, so it felt fine, lol.

    "what of hands that speak in braille?"- I love that.

    Last line, I would have liked it better if it was "readyness of your skin"... if you don't like the suggestions, feel free to keep the poem the way it is.

    - namita

    • NurseChilly gold member
      April 16, 2008

      Edit | Reply
      Thanks Namita... oops.. spull chucker not working.. lololol

      will change that.. and yes, it is a continuation of the title as sorts.. but I also like to bend and even break some of the more known poetic rules and see how things work.. and is a good word, when used right... lololol

      i toyed with the idea of your hands and I may ponder it now, before i go to work...

      Gilly.x


      • Namita
        April 16, 2008
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        lol... seme hear. spel chuker naver wurkz.

1 - 27 of 27