Rain pours
the light of the clouds brought to life
But I'm torn
between getting wet and staying dry
Is it worth it for the storm?
Droplets
form like beaded tears upon my glass
Stopping
my fingers track the silence as they pass
Is it worth it for the storm?
Floating on the clouds
and drowning in the sea
The water reaches out to carry me
Nothing left in darkness
Nothing found in light
But I'll last this storm
If you'll stay tonight
Tonight
Your kisses
trace across my cheeks like passing souls
I miss this
just lying in your arms I'm in control
Yet you still create this storm.
This thunder
I hear it in your voice above the clouds
But I fear
there's nothing left of love within the sound
As you create this storm.
Floating on the clouds
and drowning in the sea
The water reaches out to carry me
Nothing left in darkness
Nothing found in light
But I'll last this storm
If you'll stay tonight
Tonight
Let the lightning be my kisses
Let my tears be the rain
Despite the love you've given me
I still need more to last this pain
Let your feelings find me
Even through this fog
Just let me be with you
Here me speak through this song
Floating on the clouds
and drowning in the sea
The water reaches out to carry me
Nothing left in darkness
Nothing found in light
But I'll last this storm
If you'll stay tonight
Tonight
Author notes
I wish I could include a tune! This really inspired me, I'll put chords to this at some point.
In a list
A contest entry
- Write me a song by insearchofsweetness.
1750 points, ended April 27, 2008, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Lyrical Lover by PastelMoons.
1150 points, ended May 28, 37 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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Another fantastic piece
I love your lyrics
you write with heart!
Thank you for entering
and best wishes !
~Pastel
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I get the feeling of two people in a storm of their own. very well done and good luck in the contest.
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Wow, I really like how it rhymes.
The flow of everything is fantastic.
-
tugging sensations
riples of a burst
there was a nice build up, nothing bizarre with repetition but good extendable lyrical form... whereas I couldn't do but theme when writing mine though I sung my piece over to not forget before getting back to door ha-ha.
you bring a visceral climate toll on well. you streak thoughts as quoting a moment of reflection among environment affecting underlying recognition. the dramatic dashes that could be made or watching comes down to "between getting wet and staying dry
Is it worth it for the storm?" while full energy shouldn't be drained for conducive sunshine or love, if not thrown off by wind tunnel chambers perhaps.
captivating spiritedness caught in the levels "Floating on the clouds
and drowning in the sea
The water reaches out to carry me" but there can be a raft rather than just waft of imagination from penning not needing to make panic, yet you scan for sincerity.
I connected centrally with "Your kisses
trace across my cheeks like passing souls" how this wouldn't be wanted just nominal almost.
shapes and abstract can go back and forth,
babies are my subject -
If you do put music to it I would really like to hear it somehow! Very well thought out and it goes well with the contest too.
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Good luck in the contest!
"I'm torn
between getting wet and staying dry
Is it worth it for the storm?"
What an interesting song! It's very pretty,
Will you sing it to me sometime?
Great write!
May your pencil never break!
~squirrel~
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Beautiful!
This has to be one of my favorite poems now. i'm not even kidding. i love your metaphor throughout the entire piece; the storm and the rain comparing with your lover. there is lots of passion and i feel like i'm in a dream almost. you wrote very angelically and strong, and i really just loved it i would love to hear it with music someday. well done my friend!
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