During our stay
we befriended the world,
wrapped fully in sexual gender.
Exposed;
display and flirt drowned,
realised in passion
then sank into moving swoon.
So swayed moment
back and forth,
in dowry delicious
delighting in none but divine.
Now worldliness locked,
sliding with silence
testimony into matrimonial palace
splendours our feet in the earth,
while embracing's encompass...
comes to orbit the heavens.
Such Kiss
A contest entry
- In the Eye of Klimt by NurseChilly.
1400 points, ended May 6, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Beautifully Sensual. by Poetryintheblood.
450 points, ended June 19, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Largest Contest On AP!!!! by Midnight-x-Rose.
2800 points, ended July 7, 2664 entries
• next poem in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest
Critique much welcome! Welcome any sincere responses.
Comments
1 - 29 of 29
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Thank you for your entry, good luck in my contest, Josie
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I can't believe I've never commented here!
I must always be too busy swooning.
X
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This is...
So much
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Thank you 'So much'
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What a wonderful journey into your words.such a blessing Sol..this was amazing..I love this part:
Now worldliness locked,
sliding with silence
testimony into matrimonial palace
I am speechless!
Ruby
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Much thanks for your words Ruby.
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Dakotah: Shizhe'e Naalnish
this has taken me somewhere else, possibly inside of something... inside a dream. your so amazing father, my dreams derive from your words.
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Then we hear the 'words' together my daughter. Let them be from the One who knows.
Please tell me which part of the name means 'father', perhaps explain the translation of the words if possible, so I can 'see' it better?
Thank you daughter.
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Congrats for a job well done, I wanted in this one, but couldn't put the thing together as elegantly as you have accomplished it lol Good luck in the contest with it
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I love the poetry, well composed. The image, however, gave me a whole different take on the words. Since all that can truly be 'seen' of any real gender in the image is that of the woman, it gave the words a more spiritual aspect for me; one of creation by the Maker of all; and your title expressed a strong idea of the Kiss of Life, to me. The body of the poem seems to elicit in my mind a formation of the 'rules' of man layered upon the intention of the Divine, indicated by mention of 'matrimony' and 'dowry'. A piece I will be sure to read again and again. And my first read, of a simple, tender, delicious, kiss is still a favorite take for me....Peace, Rhonda
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Hi!
Thanks very much for your comment.
Yes, the whole description is of a spiritual nature to me, also including the actuality of sexual gender, as intrinsic to all 'creation' even if simply seen as 'active and passive'.
Klimpt did allude to this difference in sexuality with the use of the circular and rectangular shapes to represent them. Hence; 'wrapped fully...'
I'm so pleased for you to have seen all you've said, thank you so much for saying so.
Peace be with you also, Sol
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I am not familiar with this artist, so my eyes were all I had to judge with...thank you for affirming my thoughts. Now I see what you expressed even more clearly...Peace, Rhonda
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well, I can't say which part of this is my favourite part, for it all is seamless, like a good kiss should be, when two lips meet and the instance of knowing that person unfolds with magic and beauty.
splendours and life's passions are all here... this is, a superb piece of work and i really really really like this one
yep
many thanks for entering this contest, you have a good eye..
G.x
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Thank you, so very much. I loved writing this one and found the whole exercise very, very rewarding from your prompt idea.
Note:
Thanks Gustav!
Hope you like it too.
Great painting by the way! -
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Very nicley written.
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wow i loved it great work!!
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Beautiful
I love this poem. It's very passionate and tender. It grasps my attention and lets me read it all the way. Thank you.
~Amy
. Rewarded 4
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Thanks to you, Amy!
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Wow. This is a amazing write. The beauty of it is...just wow. I love this write. ^-^ You have a great talent. Keep it up.
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A late thank you to you Xemo... Much thanks!
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Wonderful!
I really think that this is a very nice, neat, and unique poem that you have written ! My Part at the start that I reall like the most is the picture. For it brings out the two whom are in love first by seeing their faces and then the cacoon that they are in all wrapped up as if they are only one and not two ! Wonderful use of word's as well as a relly good flow of the word's that you used here. My Pleasue to be able to read this poem. Thank You! Brenda gae
. Rewarded 8
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Thank you very much Brenda, and yes it's a wonderful image to be inspired from. Sol
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This piece has one of the best, swaying rhythms I've ever read! Your choice of words is superb; I especially liked the stanza
"So swayed moment
back and forth,
in dowry delicious
delighting in none but divine."
Amazing! This whole poem is breathtaking. Fantastic job! -
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Much honoured and encouraged by such generous response, thank you, Sol
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Oh my brother you are sweeping hearts off their feet with your words of passion and together we "embrace encompassing heavens". Great Write!
Peace in light and love
Selaam
Noah
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Thank you so much brother
Selaam, Kerim
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This is a great write. I loved how you seemed to take the reader to another world. I loved the secong to last stanza, I could almost feel myself swaying. All the best for the contest.
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Hi vanessa, sorry I've been so slow to respond with my thanks for your comment. I think I was still editing when you left it.
Thank you
Sol
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