A soul in a thin garment of smokeless air
nearer to nature, almost as fair
when still, in a morning valley of sleep,
or while curving through a bustling city street
or out in the wild, at the break of day,
then through cold, stormy nights, and with fawns at play-
could it be such a creature could inspire you?
A glade, the moon, clean powdered snow
have all caused your muse to whisper and flow,
but what of me? Am I not as warm
as the sun-tipped petal of a marigold?
Does not my voice carry the tune
of a nested Robin in early June?
True it is that I will grow old
while nature regenerates every fold;
I am of a year, She, eternity;
so remember me well, remember me.
Author notes
Contest Note: Option 6, in pastisch form
The piece is concerned with the women behind the verse of William Wordsworth; the words/phrases/tones/feelings were caught in bits and pieces from a random perusal of his works...
Now the premise here is that Wordsworth wrote about nature, and the question is, as all deeper questions are, "What was he avoiding?" For example, you may observe a person 'doing' something, but a more penetrating observation would be to surmise what the person is 'not' doing, which may be more important...
So, in writing about nature, Wordsworth was avoiding having to write about something else even more important, and more challenging and frustrating for sure- the women in his life. This piece is that 'woman' speaking, asking him if she is not as worthy of verse as his Eternal Mother...
A contest entry
- Poems For The Poet by raspberry.
1890 points, ended May 3, 14 entries
Honorable winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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"Does not my voice carry the tune
of a nested Robin in early June"These two lines quickly helped metravel back to a time in England when I was very happy to be there. A wonderful poem, your notes are informative, however I feel the poem can stand alone in its own quality - it's lovely. Von~Oldpoetry
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Oh sweet!! Definitely remembered! Thank you so much for the poem and that 'note' as well. I m sure they need a tribute too..
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Right from your first sentence this poem grabbed me and held me in thrall. It flowed well throughout for me and even the droipping in out of rhyme didn't bother me (apart from that marigold in line 11 )
A great poem
BUT
Without the fact it is in this competition I would not have connected it with Wordsworth. Do you have a special poem in mind or an experience? Perhaps you could share it via the author's comments section.
Jim -
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astute observation, the need for some author's notes explanation, thanks: and about that marigold- my rhythm was supposed to cover for the near-rhyme! (with the view that a 'poem' should have at least one poetic device going at any one time to satisfy the reader...)
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Your additions help to paint a fuller picture. Thank You.
Jim
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I enjoyed these thoughts ...
in your poem and found the flow and thought choice inspiring. Perhaps the "or" starting line five could be dropped as I stumbled on it. I did enjoy it alot. joy
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the 'or' problem that you tripped on was actually a mis-punctuation problem... thanks much for prodding me...!
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