In my cold but lovely bare feet.

I have a problem,
I don’t know what to write,
I want to write how I really feel,
But I’m really not sure tonight,

I’m not feeling very angry,
I’m not feeling at all alone,
I actually feel quite happy,
But I also feel rotten to the bone,

I really feel like crying,
I want to let my emotions out,
Why can’t the tears just come?
I can’t even scream or shout,

There are no words to describe this,
I’m not confused, angry or scared,
I feel like cutting myself,
Because even though I told my dad – no one cared,

But somehow I feel calm,
I don’t get it or like it at all,
What can’t I have one emotion?
Or maybe just feel normal?

Earlier I was knackered,
I actually went to sleep,
Now it’s nearly midnight,
And I want to jump or leap,

I want to run now,
Right out of the front door,
Go on a long run,
I want to scream and roar,

So tomorrow that’s what I’ll do,
Oh no, bugger I can’t,
I’ve got this stupid friend coming round,
Who thinks she’s my agony aunt,

Why can’t I run away?
I know it’s a stupid idea,
But I want to be free, have harmony,
Maybe then I’ll get some cheer,

Or at least can I move to my dad’s house?
It’s so secure and caring there,
God I love my dad’s house,
The only place that I can bare,

I don’t want to stop writing this poem,
It might go on for a long time,
In fact I’ll never stop,
Well I will when I run out of rhyme,

Oh – now I’m getting tired,
I sort of want to sleep,
But I still want to go on a run,
Maybe in bare feet,

I have never gone on a run,
Lighten by the light of the moon,
But I think I really should,
Though I’ll probably look like a loon,

I’m going to go to bed now,
Though I don’t want to go to sleep,
I want to stay up and get outside,
In my cold but lovely bare feet.