Frayed ends thrash around
threatening to
unravel further the stitched up lightlessness
which bind the knotted darkness of this vile weave ~
a sickening sadistic sinister loom of blacker
and blackest base yarns of elegant filth
and interlaced blasphemous crimson braids
designing to
enshroud eternally to smother forever
in foulest conventions so cruelly contrived,
slow to smother underneath morbid rotting stench
a myriad of evil strings grapple and entwine
folded within a deranged killing carpet ~
provoking intentions to wind a thorough destruction
and meander along an infinite lonely isolation
eloquently wrapped and blanketed
snugly in Hell's hold.
Author notes
... another dark hallway of my twisted mind: An unreasonable fear of carpet in Hell; and a phobia of being rolled up in a rug for eternity.
A contest entry
- Something Wicked This Way Comes.... by PerfectImperfection.
900 points, ended May 4, 2008, 18 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Damn. Such a beautiful dakness... This is honestly mind blowing - just very intense, abstract and woven with incredible depth. Thank you so much for your entry & Best wishes!
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Your comments and the shiny gold trophy are humbly appreciated... glad my unreasonable phobias bring beautiful darkness through words written, thus, giving reason... once again, some order within the chaos inside my brain; sporadic moments of sanity do not necessarily mean an understandable poem, and the sanity lasting just long enough to string together the words to match my thoughts... hopefully with enough clarity to hold the reader's interest.
in modest repose,
Thanx again
Grimoire
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Wonderful
Such vivid descriptions, so very well formed with nice alliterations. Well placed paused in stanzas form an effective tool in enhancing your piece. Best of luck in the contest.
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Holy CRAP! That was an amazing piece!! Wonderful word choice, and everything just FIT together. WONDERFULLY DONE!
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dark and twisted. No doubt. I'm not sure exactly what it means, but I love the imagery, the vocabulary. the flow. I read it through several times, and each time something new caught my eye. That is the sign of a strong work. Bravo.
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I love the alliteration. I started getting a bit tongue tied at one point but other than that i love it. ts great how you turned something so ordinary into something so evil.
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wide-angled and sub-leased...
a banshee with a bag full of bondables. an inkling beyond the midnight drip of a thousand razor voices spread out across a two-tone mono-theistic implosion and a scandalous theatre jockey on a wrong way rodeo ride. i'd go with shag, right up to the edge of destruction, then lay marble - it'll dip the devil in his own senseless sauce...
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Name of a new band
The title of these piece carries so much weight. When I read a work of another writer I always look intently at the body of the work incorporated with its nameplate. You absolutely blew me away! To indulge in all of this sinister idealism, the crooked and the perverted whatever the lines personally mean to you and then have the presence of mind to simply call it, "Rug" is incredible! You used all of the motions and persona of what it takes to be a rug or study a rug as well. You got me at, "Frayed ends thrash around". I'm a believer and hope some of your other work is lighter, if not, you got some bad carpet to write about!! RC
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Such beauty and honesty coming from this poem. Absolutely wonderful. Keep up the good work.
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Very well done. I like how your worded this great alliteration too. Thanks for sharing I wish you luck with it. Redwing Spirit
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Well, I liked this. It made me sort of sick reading it, I guess that was the objective? Your use of adjectives was interesting, I liked your wording. You painted a very clear, morbid picture. Very well done,
Thanks for sharing,
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REally it is bloody brilliant... ^.^
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Very creative! I've never liked a sentance as a poem, but you made it work - as well as it could work
Very sinister and well portrayed prompt and fear of carpet. Well freakin done and best of luck in the contest ^.^
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Interesting
It beguiles me to see that you've perceived the web they weave. Keep on thinking free.
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That's some phobia!
Love how you wrote this.
Be Well and beware the red carpet treatment.
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Amazingness
Wow this is possibly the most creative poem I've read so far...Very Cool! Keep on writing...you've got skills.
~Jessi~
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