an owl slices the silence
watching for
creatures skittering
through frosted grass.
the full moon
sharpens shadows
of leafless trees
lying motionless
on beds of ice,
a fieldmouse darts
and breathes its last
as with silent grace
the feathered hunter
finds its prey
and feasts in the stillness
of a frozen forest night
A contest entry
- ends when i wake up. by layla..
525 points, ended April 15, 2008, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
-
Hoodwinked
Hey this is great. It's very visual and it's interesting... Amazing job!
-
Hoodwinked
I liked this piece and it is interesting what noctual creatures do when we sleep and the night time activities. -
HOODWINKED!
Defintely imagery filled, and that's always good. I love the fact it was about an animal. Those are my favorites! Anyway, this was very good and I loved it. Enjoy the spotlight.
-
(Hoodwinked!) Very descriptive and visual!
Your poetry paints an eerily beautiful nighttime picture. Your finsih, 'a field mouse dart...forest night is quite poetic in it alliteration and in its painting.
-
Hood-Wink
Great descriptions and imagery! You really brought this to life in fully colour. Truly a masterful write. Bravo! -
Wonderful imagery painted with your pen,I could almost see my breath as the story unfolded before my eyes.
-
sorry I didn't get to read this in my contest before it was deleted by administration. I like this imagery in this nature poem and can apply it in a meaningful way to my life right about now. Thanks.
-
I love the descriptions in this piece -- they gave me a great mental picture. I love how you penned this - very nice...
Very well done here poet
-
This was a fantastic write. The images of the owl and the poor fieldmouse were brought to life in the darkness of the night. Keep writing, keep your muse happy. Papagallo
-
What vivid visual images these lines bring to mind - liked the brevity of the lines, the flow and the natural wonder of this bird that you share in these lines.
-
as with the night, you highlight only what is active or visible to the eye through the reflection of light, this creates a great atmosphere, sharp and clear
-
Wonderfully atmospheric woodland fare! Excellently phrased with great imagery ~ I love 'sharpens shadows' and 'on beds of ice'. Fabulous poetry.
'scittering' (skittering)
'breaths' (breathes)
Well penned, dear Poet ~ Love it!
Adding your comment:
1 - 12 of 12
