Passing friend,
Share a moment with me.
See the sun set,
The gulls flying,
The tired seamen return.
Strangers of a lifetime,
Impulsive companions we are.
The nothing-ness we share,
Our common bond.
Sips of tea, divine conversations
Unseen and forgettable faces,
The counter to best laid plans.
Again we part,
The purpose regained,
As we return to
Our walks of life
I've just started writing recently, so the most critical reviews will be the most delicious to read. (END WAR, END OPPRESSION)
Comments
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i like this. if only the world were more like this. instead you have to worry about people stealing from you or taking advantage. its nice that you put such a peaceful state of mind into the reader. it calms me.i really dont think theres anything you need to change with this particular poem, but in others you right you may want to convey more of your thoughts and thrill the reader or give them a strong sense of your emotions so that all they can do is step back and wonder. Especially if your going to be in contests. there are some really vivid writers.I wish you the best of luck with your writing and i hope you will take what i said into consideration.=)
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Well Done
Ok...first...did you mean unforgettable? Or did you want forgettable faces? Just curious. To me, I don't think I'd change much in this poem, except maybe fixing punctuation....which is one of the hardest things about a poem. At least I think so, anyway.
I liked reading this poem. It seems as though the two had decided to sit a spell for tea... engage in some thoughts and conversation...then split up and finish going to their own individual destinations. And I picture them as being elderly..
Like I said, aside from punctuation... I don't think I'd change much of anything with this poem. Good job!
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