silently I crawled through the underbrush
every stir of a leaf drew panicked breaths
I sat still and stared as it passed
Burning the sky overhead
Once more I ventured from my cover
I scanned upon the horizon
Floating aimlessly along
looking for sustenance
I mistimed my journey a bit too long
for over the leaves light shined
my shadow revealed me for the last time
I gasped the last breath
Comments
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i like the feel of this piece, kind of a haunting what did i miss while curled inside myself sorta thing.
in the third line, not sure what" it" refers to
and" mistimed" seems a little awkward.
much like people,
i dont think poetry needs to be fully understood to be appreciated.
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