"Please come in if you're assured
The windows' closed the door's secured
For what I'm now about to tell
can ne'er be tied to the great bell
This is a very secret secret
disclosing it will bring regret"
A hushed silence then ensued
the air was heavy, something brewed
Two kids waited expectantly
Four big round eyes looked up to me
My voice, a whisper, broke the pause,
"It is concerning Santa Clause".
And as they shuffled on their chairs
Their eyes alight with curious stares
I told them this peculiar tale -
"You know that Santa does not fail,
In doing his most noble work
(the same of course as with the stork -
against all odds he brought us Kay)
But one morning on Christmas Day,
I saw the most peculiar thing...
Wait, I'll start at the beginning"
No more they listen quietly
"Uncle, please tell, what did you see!"
"My dears, speak soft" I said with gloom
"None of my words must leave this room,
Now please have patience; where was I?
Yes, where I awoked and heard the sigh;
A most sad sigh so deeply sighed,
it sounded more like someone cried.
And as I opened up each eye
(e'en thick with sleep they never lie)
I saw an old man on the floor
And one hugh bag next to the door
He sat there flat, undignified
while various toys around him lied."
Now their excitement was unquelled
"Must be Santa!" they softly yelled.
I hushed them then resumed my tale -
"he looked forlorn and very pale,
And yes indeed he was crying,
something's amiss there's no denying.
He played with toys within his reach
He's dressed as if he's on the beach
In sandals, shorts and vest he sat
and on his head - red, tossled hat
but the most extraordinary of all
was how he juggled with one ball!"
The little one cried "Zonkers!
Santa must have gone all bonkers!"
The bigger one followed "Golly!
Santa has gone off his trolley!"
One sharp look and they were quiet
"Then I tactfully enquired,
to him what the matter could be
and this is what he answered me -
'Most humble sir, I bring regard
from the house of great king Helenard
Our great ruler at the North Pole'
he cried again - a tormented soul!"
Two faces frowned as I stopped
A pin would be heard if it's dropped
"And then ev'rything tumbled out -
'It's the kids, Sir!' he blubbered loud
'It happened Sir, I'm totally insane,
their requests Sir, are big, inane,
The little blighters always lie
In letters when they specify
the levels of their naughtiness
they feint to be all goodness.
they always want expensive toys'
and here again he lost his voice"
"They came in secret that same day
Whom other then the CIA!
(an ugly thing bureaucracy -
They made me sworn to secrecy)
They took him to a mental place
his beard was shaven off his face
Now I believe he lost some weight
never again will he be great.
One old elf that's been retired
king Helenard as Santa hired.
I'm told as Santa he's much better
So of you go; go write a letter
and please be gentle on him guys,
we want him Santa 'till he dies!"
Author notes
Option (5)
I own a zoo!
A contest entry
- humor sequal by LilMrsAttitude.
700 points, ended February 8, 2007, 32 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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You're quite a storyteller. Wondered what was gonna happen as I read on. Thank you for entering and good luck in my contest.
~*DJ*~
Thank you so much for reading and following the rules. Very much appreciated.
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Kept me wondering what was coming next - a tall tale for sure. Did the kids go and rewrite their letters to Santa following this tale?
Entertaining,fun! -
Cute & Creative
Ah...this is superbly crafted, well told and has the power to become a classic... The flow of the verse is well done and it trips so trippingly (just like Poor Ol'Santa). I enjoyed this very much. -
absolutely wonderful.
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Yay! This is great! It's very long winded, but aren't all uncles that way? Very funny.
Keep it up-
The Eggman -
I usualy get bored with realy long poems or stories but you kept me glued to my seat wanting to know what happens next and it was wonderful how you didn't just tell the story you were telling a story in a story how perfect and once again unique so off to my favorites list you shall go, are you ready here we go.
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Yeh, it is a bit longish. However, except for that I still tried to keep in line for what is required for the contest.
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Long short story here, well paced and easy to read, few points of humor, different from rest of the entries I read. Good read and good luck.
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Hey, when writing a long piece the key is keeping it flowing, making interesting visions, well done, it's interesting..
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