Another tear is shed
From already swollen eyes
Pain will not cease
A death of a loved one
Is too painful
Words can not emerge
Just whimpers and tears
Nothing but pain
The night my cousin died
I felt it in my heart
It broke into pieces
Alcohol was involved
It was the main cause
He drank, so did she
They fought
Loves little quarrels
He got out of the car
In a fit of rage
He began to walk home
Just a few minutes later
She lit a cigarette
Not paying attention to the road
It was all over
She hit him with her car
Her own boyfriend
He lay there on the road, lifeless
With a crushed in face and chest
He was killed instantly
No turning back
My cousin was gone
I lost him forever
His voice
His Smile
Tears are shed
From swollen eyes
This pain will last forever
Author notes
Its in Free Verse, hope thats ok.
This is also from personal experiance..its a true story.
My cousin was killed last may...his girlfriend hit him with her car.
A contest entry
- Loss of someone by StarOfDreams23.
450 points, ended June 12, 2008, 21 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - sad poems!!! ENTER NOW!!! by PrettyPrincess206.
323 points, ended July 7, 2008, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Just about anything by my1lovewearsdiapers.
600 points, ended July 22, 2008, 46 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Tales Of Loss by peregrin.
450 points, ended October 1, 2008, 38 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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This is very touching,
fantastic write!
I love it,
and I feel for your loss.
Thank you for your entry. -
I'm sorry to hear about your cousin. Even more so, I feel sorry for his girlfriend, because she is the one who will have to live with it for the rest of her life. I can't even begin to imagine taking another life, whether by accident or not, and having that stain on my conscience forever.
Anyway, good luck in the contest, and my condolences in light of your loss. Time doesn't always heal everything. My very best to you.
Laura x
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of coures it is ok! I loved this poem so much!
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wow girl thas deep, im almost crying!! this is really good tho, i hope you are doing ok with all of that. it makes me sad when something happens to someone.
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Really like this piece - I can relate
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Losing some one can be the worst thing in the world especially if they are close to you!! I haven't lost a cousin but my bestfriend was killed in a head on collision. The oppisite driver was in a transfered truck and he was very drunk..... he walked away from the accident with a few bruises and scratches but david, my friend, died.... life can be harsh and I don't understand how or why things happen the way they do but I know I'm not alone in the confusion.
You did a great job in expressing your emotions in this poem!!! Keep up the great work!!
Jess
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I love this Sierra! I haven't read anything of yours for quite some time! The only thing I might suggest is that you should use objectivism in some of your lines. Like instead of flat out saying "Alcohol was involved" or "She hit him with her car", express the emotion you feel indirectly but precisely, you know? Use words to get your point across instead of actually saying the words themselves (like Tabboo), and your poem will be even better. :]]
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Melancholy
As I read this, I think of just why I have chosen not to drink, for it only causes pain and regret. you do things you wouldn't normally do, and sometimes you don't even remember. I'm sorry about your cousin, and I hope it doesn't hinder you too greatly in everyday life, as this sort of thing usually does.
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Raw emotion waved all throughout this one. It's really sad, and I can relate. Except drugs was involved with a cousin of mine. It's terrible how things like that happen, and it's shocking to see that people next to don't care about how their actions are affecting others. Sometimes even taking lives. The end wrapped it up really well, and it's actually my favorite bit. The loss of a loved one never goes away and it hurts when you think about them. The pain might last forever, but so will the memories of him. Thank you for entering and good luck. Also, I'm very sorry to hear that this was a true story. It's really sad and touching and I think maybe if some people who are careless about drinking and such read this, they might change their life a little.
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kewlness
THIS WAS AMAZING!!! It was so emotional. It almost brought tears to my eyes. I felt your pain so well. This was a really good write and was really raw. Great write and Great job!!!
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