It doesn't matter that the sun isn't always
shining down warmly, or if the temperature
is mighty cold,
the people walk.
Even though the sky becomes dark
and a biting wind hurls them from side to side
making it a challenge just to stand,
The people walk,
In spite of the fact that sometimes the path
Is hidden beneath tangling vines and thick weeds,
stickers and sand spurs,
Still, the people walk.
And, although, their legs become cramped and weary,
growing heavier with each passing mile,
most are driven by an urge within,
Ignoring any desire to give up the walk.
Author notes
The walk of life is filled with pebbles that fill your shoes, very painful, yet, something drives most of us to travel on. Amazing.
A contest entry
- Poet's Choice III by Luna Tique Fringe.
1750 points, ended May 25, 2008, 26 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
I'd like some feedback.
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Lovely thoughts, not so sure I agree, though.
I think you might have gotten your thoughts across a little more effectively with different ways of presenting them...lol..I should talk...that probably was very effective either. Maybe I should try with an example?
maybe something like this:
under cold and clouded skies,
they persevere
the people walk
the wind challenges every step
but they sail head on,
the people walk
It's just a style choice, though. I usually subscribe the 'less is more' school of thought.
I hope I didn't offend. Thanks for entering.
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Nice metaphor, and it's so true. Great write.
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I am glad I clicked this,I enjoyed reading this and I find it also inspirational indeed,thanks for sharing your thoughts on life,Hazel
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This is a beautiful piece of work. Personally, it makes me think of the Death Marches of the Holocaust, which adds a whole new dimension to this piece. Thank you for featuring this, else I may not have read it. Great use of vocabulary, rhythm, and flow. Truly outstanding write.
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I agree with what this poem says. Pebbles or no pebbles we walk...through thick and thin, we walk. Good job with this creative piece.
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I can relate to this poem
Very profound, I enjoyed reading it and sharing your thoughts about life. 
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