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Dreaming

Late at night while everyone is asleep in their bed
I'm wide awake with you running through my head
I can't drift off with this going on
Sitting in the same position till the break of dawn

You run through my head all night and day
Even though it never ceases to cause me pain
Thinking of the things you would say to me
Constantly going and never ceasing to be

Your smile, your laugh, and my love for you
Keeps me wide awake no matter what I do
You go and never stop for a second to see if Im okay
You just continue on, running night and day

You occupy all my time with the very thought of you
And even these songs that play they do it too
They all make me think of what could have been
But I gave up everything that could be back then

Why did I believe that everything would be alright
When it just ended things with a single fight
I cant believe you will never be around
And no comfort while sitting here have I found

You are constantly on the run, never stopping to see
What all this love and loniness has done to me
But thats fine I understand what must be done
I want you to go, Be happy and have fun

You love another I know its true
As I learned that when I met you
She is a wonderful woman and sweet as can be
But your memory will always be with me

I will alway love you and always hold you dear
No matter what happens I know there is nothing to fear
Even when I try to sleep you keep me awake
But Im gonna survive for your sake

The thought of being with you, Holding you in my arms
Kissing you passionately, Awakened from the alarm
It was just a simple dream I seem to keep
But in the midst of it all I drifted off to sleep.

Author notes

Well after I lost a really good friend of mine who I was in love with For three days I couldn't stop thinking about him and each night when I fell asleep I would dream about him...so basically that would sum up this poem.

________________________________________________________________________________
N i g h t M i s t r e s s 1

my entry could fit any of the first 3..so all?

*************************************Contest Notes*******************************************

*~* N i g h t M i s t r e s s 1 *~*

I had just gotten out of a love triangle and was constantly thinking about the guy I was in love with. It was a very difficult situation, but I got past it somehow.

************************************Contest Notes***********************************************

~~*~~S h a d o w S t a l k e r~~*~~

A contest entry

What do you think? Give me an honest opinion please.

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 22 of 22

  • savemysoul
    November 15
    ?
    Edit | Reply
    wow, this was good. i can tell it was true emotion. and i understand the situation. good write and thanks for entering.

    -- jordan.


    • Shadow Stalker
      November 15
      ?
      Edit | Reply

      Thank you,

      It's definitely something that was very hard to endure and something I wouldn't change for the world. It was something I had to go through and something I had to learn from in order to become a better person and someone that could help others when they needed it. I am not happy with how things ended but I am happy to be able to say I know how it feels to be in this situation because it made me a better and stronger person. Thank you for commenting and reading.

      ~~*~~Shadow Stalker~~*~~


  • mackereth
    July 22
    Edit | Reply
    This is an amazing and strong write that I can relate to very closely. Well done.

    • It was definitely...

      One of those things that can only be written through experience. All of the things I write about have either been seen, done or heard about from the people around me. I rarely write about something I know nothing about or doing prompts. That kind of thing is very difficult, so you know that when I write I write through my experiences. Its hard to endure something like this but it was something that happened and I came through it. Thank you for your comment.

      *~*Night Mistress 1*~*


  • Antebellum
    July 14

    Edit | Reply
    'Late at night while everyone is asleep in their bed
    I'm wide awake with you running through my head
    I can't drift off with this going on
    Sitting in the same position till the break of dawn'

    I love the rhyme here.
    beautifully written.
    thanks so much for entering.


  • Still Standing gold member
    February 11

    Edit | Reply

    one word: Wow

    This is a beautufully crafted poem of what we all go through when we have to stop loving due to circumstances beyond our control. But do we a9tually stop? This is simply great. I love the line about the music:
    You occupy all my time with the very thought of youAnd even these songs that play they do it tooThey all make me think of what could have been

    I alwyas end up listening to sad love songs after a break up. Sucks but it pulls me thru. Good job thanks for entering and good luck!


  • Anu-Nataraj
    February 3

    Edit | Reply
    thi si so beautfiul !!!

    its exactly what im goign through..only...he doesnt like anyone right now or isnt going out

    alls well!!

    lovely poem.....no criticism...this was perfectly penned !

    • Shadow Stalker
      February 3
      Edit | Reply

      Thank you

      So much. I am happy to hear you enjoyed my poem. I am sorry though to hear you are going through this yourself. Its not fun and very painful. I hope things get better for you and everything turns out for the best. Good Luck. And thanks again.

      ~Night Mistress 1~


  • Unknowing...
    February 3
    Edit | Reply
    very good. good luck..


  • HereComesTheSun
    February 2

    Edit | Reply
    very heartfelt and really shows the emotion put into crushes (though i believe love is an overused word exp in today society) great expression and for rhyme it was pretty well done
    thanks for entering

  • aww wow...it kinda made me cry..im sorry

    "Late at night while everyone is asleep in their bed
    I'm wide awake with you running through my head"

    "It was just a simple dream I seem to keep
    But in the midst of it all I drifted off to sleep."
    everything we want always is a dream it never comes true...i know where your coming from.

    great write here anyway! i loved it and thank you for your entry and good luck

    • Shadow Stalker
      February 2
      Edit | Reply

      Thank you

      Yeah it was a very painful situation and took a while to get over. I am still trying to deal with it and it happened a year ago. Its hard to think about and when I do I get kinda upset about it myself still. But thank you very much for the comment.

  • Wow....this brought tears to my eyes.

    You put such hard feelings into such amazing words and in a way which just kept my attention the entire way through the poem.

    I didn't have a favourite part but really done such an amazing write.

    Thanks for entering and good luck.

    X


  • DogTagz-TheJalapeno
    May 27, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Awww/ That was sweet. I like dit. Good luck on the poem


  • Blooming Poet
    May 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Relationships ending are hard enough, but still loving someone when they love someone new ohh the pain, I can relate


  • IrishGypsyRose silver member
    April 19, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    I Understand

    I think anyone who has ever loved someone and lost them can relate to the words you have written. I feel you did a nice job capturing the feelings that run you through the wringer when it's over. I truly enjoyed your piece...in the first verse, third line i believe there is a "the" that I don't think belongs...other than that AWESOME write.

    • Shadow Stalker
      April 20, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      Thank You

      So much for pointing that out to me, You were right that didnt belong there and Im surprised I did not catch it when I first submitted it. Thank you very much for your kind words and for taking the time to read my poem.

      ~Kisses & Roses~


  • AbbyxGrace
    April 19, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    this is good, i really like, ur an amazing writer!

    xxAbbyxx

    • Shadow Stalker
      April 20, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      Thank You

      For your comment, thats sweet of you to say. I will do my best to return the favor as I get the chance.

      ~Kisses & Roses~


  • live-laugh-love
    April 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    OMG this put me in f'ing tears
    i thought i was the only person who lay awake at night thinking of the person they, miss/love/hate
    it fits my relationship perfectly!
    thanx
    I LOVE THIS POEM!!!
    Gr8 rhyme and rhythem!
    I'm makeing him read it
    i hate not giving cridt to wonderful poets
    so give me ur name
    if you don't mind me sharring w/ friends!
    the one thing i would change is Cammas and perids
    (how ever u spell thoses) ,.
    at the momment it is ONE BIG LONG SENTANCE!!!
    you might wanna take the time and fix that
    Other than that
    I LOVE IT!!!!!!!
    i'm not good w/ spelling so i can't tell if theres any errors
    And hun,
    i'm so sorry to heare
    that some one knows my pain
    Fallings not your problem
    its hiting the cold Floor and tring to get back up
    Lovely poem!!!!


    • Shadow Stalker
      April 18, 2008

      Edit | Reply

      Oh WOW!!

      Im a little surprised at your comment, I never thought that I would get such a reaction...As for the sentence thing its really not its split up into stanzas of four lines which in this case seperates things. Also unless its in a single line it does not always require proper sentence punctuation.

      Also My name is Tammy, and no I do not mind you using my poetry and thank you for asking. You have my permission to use my works if you would like. You can use any of them you would like to. Its alright this experience teaches me more about love, life, and about issues I may not even realize yet. It also gives me the ability to help people who need it...

      Anyhow well thank you again for the comment and feel free to read and comment any other poem as well.

      ~Kisses & Roses~

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