The clouds enshroud my night in blackened cold
I'm stretched from tundra to savanna grave
The snow and sand comes at my eyes, a wave
In shades of frozen white and burnished gold
I'll heal, I'll overcome my grief, I'm told
But healing's not the medicine I crave
There's nothing left of breathing now to save
And nothing left of loving now to hold.
But when the sky parts, brave and bright with stars
I feel your ghost rise up inside my skin
And though my smile is cut apart with scars
The promised healing fuels and begins.
My faith consoles me; you'll be never far--
The presence of an angel is within.
Author notes
Petrarchan sonnet.
it feels a little emo to me.
what do you think?
rip it
Comments
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very good.
This sonnet has a lot of feeling and depth.
It holds a lot of sentimen, but overall has a feeling of loss:
"I'll heal, I'll overcome my grief, I'm told
But healing's not the medicine I crave
There's nothing left of breathing now to save
And nothing left of loving now to hold."
(lines 5 to 8)
The structure reads very nicely and really shows the emotion of the peice, especcially the way that the lines are staggered in length.
Thank you for sharing this touching write.
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I found this to be a very nice petrarchan sonnet. It worked for me and didn't seem emo at all. This is what sonnets are supposed to be! The weakest line to me was the last one, but the rest was good enough to make overlooking it easy. L10 was my favorite line, for what that's worth. Good stuff
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great esteem
`wave` feels to me like `passage way`
or `a door way with nothing to open and nothing to close`
Instead of `ghost` try Feeling his spirit modern for you entices me to get scared why are you so happy for me that's the strength in him he wants you to raise your spirits in just being you He did for it was your company that willed him to be stronger and wise so you must believe in yourself because he loved you just the way you were contemporary to this modern growing time
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