11:45
Is what the clock now reads as i sit, awaiting that faithful hour
when all time seems to Stop only for a moment
11:47
with every change of the numbers, the time draws nearer and still
i'm waiting... and waiting... waiting for something to happen
11:50
even after a few more changes nothing happens of any significance
"in the Still of the night"... i finally understand the power of that title
11:54
the song itself is about love, but i now understand the saddness of the title
that one fleeting moment when time seems to just Freeze... waiting fojust a moment, when time takes over again
11:56
that brief, Pausing moment is almost here and still i see no change
nothing that would cause excitement... and still, i'm waiting
11:59
Does this moment always go by unnoticed
It seems that no one is around to enjoy this with me
Everyone has apparently gone without me while i'm
Still waiting, waiting until the moment when everything...
12:00
Author notes
this was very fun to write... i was bored at 1:38 in the morning and I got inspired... read the last four lines CAREFULLY!!!! to see the message..
A contest entry
- Cryptic Tongues by Violent Serenity.
1200 points, ended April 19, 2008, 17 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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omgosh!
wow.wow.wow! one of the best poems i've read! truely a brilliant piece, i love the idea... it was creative! keep penning! loved it!
AWESOME!!!
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This was great in the sense that your rambled thoughts entertained me. I also sense a crash coming, which you thoughtfully provided at the end. You like to end your poems with an unfinished thought, don't you. I like that sometimes, but this time it worked. I thought this was a good entry.
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I got it! I won't tell though. I don't want to spoil it. Nicely done.
John
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wow... that is really good
love the ending 
well creative write! keep it up n good luck in the contest ^.^
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Ok. Now, I am glad that you had a bit of fun with this. As for your piece being abstract, I cannot say that it is 100 percent however... I found myself truly lost in your rambling thoughts, which is what abstract poetry is
So, I guess that I will give you credit there!! Nice work on this. I give you a bonus 2 points for being unique with your approach on this challenge.
93+2= 95
there ya have it!! GREAT WORK!!
Mel
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Hi Jack :)
Well, by the typos, I can tell someone needed to be sleeping...hehe.....or ready to come back the next morning and proof-read and edit :)
I believe this to be sleep insomnia....and finally when you think you're not going to sleep....your mind shuts off and you crash hard!
If this is true.......then I would say you could have hidden your message a little deeper......and if I am wrong, then you have done an excellent job, because there is nothing else I would suggest as your Theme actually ~
Your score is based on complexity for me...>>>>
92.0
Good luck Jack and God bless,
Bear ~
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i think i got it..i have two things in mind.. could be either of the two, could be none..in any case will keep it to myself...i really liked the idea..its a different way of writing! there are a few spelling mistakes/typing errors i think in the poem..all the best... i really like the poem...
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I like the serene theme that this piece gives ^^
although, you have to re-edit this 'cause there are some typos before the judge comes =]
well, good luck to all of us! -
I think I get this, don't really want to say here tho A great piece, love the fact it's centred around time. Not incredibly easy abstract but was a lot of fun. A fantastic piece, good luck
There are a couple of typos you may want to check before the judges come
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Have you ever read the Midnighters series?
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A long time ago... and it was a good series, but that wasn't even on my mind at the time...
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Ah, that's just what it reminded me of.
Great poem.
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