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Reflection

you don’t know me,
but I see you every day.
and I notice
every secret glance
at every CD cover and glossed cardboard package
every glassed-over portrait
wishing that the person
underneath was you
praying that the “Ugly”
is just a defect in your eyes.

i notice how
your shoulders cave into your chest
the strings holding them up
snipped
and the way your eyes cling
as you force your feet to walk away.

i notice the pills
that you take every morning
(and sometimes afternoon)
ducking under the mirror’s range
until they take effect
and you can stand yourself long enough to fixate

i notice the way that you
pointedly ignore me

in every mirror
and you ignore

when i try to hold up your shoulders
and you ignore

when i tug your reaching fingers
away from the encapsulated comfort
and you ignore

me.


just wait until i get fed up.
then we’ll see what’s in those mirrors.

Author notes

This is supposed to be from the viewpoint of someone's inner beauty. It's confusing unless you know this, so you'll probably want to go read it again after you read this so you can actually make sense of it. >.<

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Comments


  • Exit-Stage-Right
    November 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    How about:

    Reflection: The Inner Beauty Speaks

    as the title, or somesuch. Or,

    "This is your inner beauty and I approve this message."

    as the last line. OK, that second one was a real stretch, but by incorporating the clue into the title or last line, you can part company with the author's notes. In a lot of ways, the last line is a better place to spring the surprise, as that will automatically trigger a second reading, which will leave a longer lasting impression in the reader's mind.

    You know the cliche about jokes: if you have to explain it, it isn't funny. Let your poem capitalize on your own clever personification of "inner beauty".


    • Pickleweasel
      November 23, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks for the suggestion. I just can't seem to come up with a good title for this one that doesn't seem like it's too heavy handed. I put the note there in hopes of suggestions actually, as I know what you mean about the explanation killing it. Unfortunately, that's the best I had to go on.
      I like your little subtitle idea though. I'm not sure that it's the title that this one is really looking for, but it's a hell of a lot better than what I've got. xP