People don't see the is the good things passing by
Like the little angel
she has fallen
and doesn't know what to do
i see people passing her by with out a care
she is sd and alone why can't they see her an that she needs help What don't you see
A contest entry
- ~* What Do You See? *~ by Desire.
700 points, ended April 18, 2008, 8 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Anything No langue
Comments
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Yes
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I love this
The plea - the need to point out
being overlooked - the blind or the ignorant
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Thank You!!
Thank You for Your entry: What don't you see
This piece tugged at Spirit for I could feel sadness also imagine feeling of alone like nobody quite understands what is happening to this little child
Love the emotions You have shared~~
Brings tears to the eyes
***it looks like maybe a few letters might be missing from some words and a line or two kinda hung around~
People don't see the is the good things passing by
Like the little angel
she has fallen
and doesn't know what to do
i see people passing her by with out a care
she is sd and alone why can't they see her an that she needs help What don't you see
~*~
how about this?
People don't see the good things passing by
like the little angel,
she has fallen
and doesn't know what to do.
I see people passing her without care.
She is sad and alone.
Why can't they see her?
She needs help,
what don't they see?
and maybe have the title be: What don't they see?
Just a thought...I wanted to keep Your original thought and kinda tweek some of the sentences
to help a little with flow...
But as a young Poet...I am Happy You are
writing and spilling ink
These lines grabbed and pulled~
Like the little angel
she has fallen
and doesn't know what to do
Magnificent take on the prompt~
Thank You for sharing Your Heart also Spirit!
Best wishes to You in the contest Sweet Soul
**Judging will be done shortly...
Many blessings too
and much love~ Desire~*~
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