Cut straight to the throat, fuck the chase
Devour these angry apathetic allusions, define this taste
Flowing beneath the bridge tonight, we walk alone
Comfort taking anxiousness to all new levels
My muscles are far too weak to lift the weight of this sad situation
Do you love Me, or does he make you complete?
Discreet wandering of these city streets
Whiskey, neat, and a new kind of creed
For the brothers that set us slain will never make peace
At least not with Me
It went down hard, the blows of fists thrown over the edge
The rage of tears never quite absorbing into the cotton covering My shoulder
Though I'll sit here quietly and watch you cry, I don't mind
I would have done the same for anybody
Though that doesn't go to say that you weren't special
A heavy inhalation sets these times at ease
A slip into slow motion and a dip into coercion
Where the hell did things go so terribly wrong?
Blame Me, please, if it'll make things easy
This was never meant to be so hard
A tiny plastic zipper seal holds in My piece of mind
It seals it away from the outside, really quite airtight
And I'll drag, and toke, and rip, all night until the sun is in view
But this haze is no substitution for the reality of you
How I long for a gentle touch to be reciprocated, especially now
Drag the night as long as it'll go, My precious possession
Display to Me your graceful elegance in servitude
Because this is how things are supposed to be
And if I'm wrong in this situation...
Well, then, this situation isn't right.
Author notes
-shrug-
A contest entry
- i smoke and i drink and every time i think i have a tiny dream by Confetti Fairy-x.
800 points, ended April 22, 2008, 8 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
-
"cut straight to the throat fuck the chase" - very powerful opening line.
"whisky, neat, and a new kind of creed" - really like that.
although in the first two stanzas i found a slight lack of imagery and it was a little unoriginal "do you love Me or does he make you complete?" especially.
however, i did feel the anger and bitterness come across well.
"a slip into slow motion" - excellent line.
but the direction and use of "Me" actually made it feel less personal, although maybe because i am not used to that kind of expression.
the rhyme was reasonably subtle in most places which was good. but occaisonally it sounded a little forced. however i liked the fact that it wasnt used all the way through.
ambiguous ending was effective also.
thanks for entering.
Con
x
Adding your comment:
