Stay still,
Stay sleeping,
'till you can't...
And dawn comes - awakens you
with its suicidal breath
and blood red glow
Dreams are safe,
Nightmares safer,
This world will take you
in the end.
Stay still
Stay sleeping
'till you can't...
For who knows what lies beyond.
Author notes
Inspired by:
"Till human voices wake us, and we drown" - T S Eliot
Because sometimes I think it would have been better not to know this world
A contest entry
- Quote Inspired, Keep It Short And Sweet by Exodus.
525 points, ended April 20, 2008, 5 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
To be honest I'm not a huge fan of the last line. The rest of the piece has this whispered at midnight feel, but that last line just doesn't quite fit. Other than that like I said the feel was great, I loved the comparison between dreams and nightmares
Thank you -
FANTASTIC!!!!! I love the idea that even nightmares are even safer than being awake. Beautiful interpretation of the qoute.
Best of luck
Silenced one
-
Very good. Wonderful job on theis one with such a great flow.
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