Don't tell me you know how many raindrops fell
..you don't
Don't count for me the stars, in the darkened swell
..you can't
Don't drag me back down with you into your hell
..I won't go.
You stole the wonder from the universe
You cried my very first tears
And the salt stung my eyes until I was blind
your image is gone from my mind.
I went myself, truth be told
without you
And the dark night swallowed my hope
they told me I couldn't cope
and the little white bubbles of my dreams
they handed back to me
one at a time,
a broken rhyme - a pantomime...
I chased with bitter nectar
that made my head spin
until they evaporated in a cloud
of cigarette smoke.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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This poem is truly moving - you feel as if you are inside the person's mind. The rhyme scheme is very interesting. The way the first six lines were written was concise and softly powerful.
"And the salt stung my eyes until I was blind" I'd have to say that this is my favorite line.
All in all, excellent work! -
Wow
I love reading the poems like these, they hit me hard... it's nice to relate to others.
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