My heart bleeds for you, my love…
Not too long ago…
I found out something
we all dread to hear…
A short time before then,
we married…
And I promised you many years…
Before that,
I went through
what you will…
And you heard so much
in those days…
My heart bleeds for you, my love…
For now, it seems,
those years I promised you,
upon that wonderful day we married,
may be cut short…
My heart bleeds for you, my love…
Only now, you will see
what could not be expressed…
For mere words could not possibly
express those feelings…
My heart bleeds for you, my love…
And I know, all too well,
what you will feel…
The only difference is,
you can prepare,
when I couldn’t…
For you will face
what I faced a few years back…
My heart bleeds for you, my love…
If I could, I’d take it all away…
For you do not deserve
to feel those things…
Yet, you will…
And for that,
my heart will bleed,
until it beats no more…
© Jonathan Wikkins April 14, 2008
All Rights Reserved
A contest entry
- Poetic Challenge Group... ONLY!!! by luckynsincere.
600 points, ended April 28, 2008, 8 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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I must disagree with the furry one on this
I feel that you have stepped out 
I feel that you really poured more emotion into this than most poets do in all of their poetry combined. I can only say that you need to work on your repeating words. Not the line you used to do the line breaks, I like that in this poem.... but you used the word "feeling" "feel" and "feelings" also "express" "expressed". That really takes a great deal away from the overall affect of this poem. I actually think all poets go through spells where they are in a certain mood or genre. That is common. But your unique ability to pour your personal pain and despair and emotion into the words is where you stand apart from the others. But maybe what would satsfy the Bear, and your readers in general, is if you take the personal spin, and then add on and on... Keep it real. Just like a lot of the best movies or books ever made... it says "based on a true story" not "this is the actual story". Add some spice, this is where metaphors could really change a poem completely. The better the metaphor, the more readers will be able to relate to your poem. I feel you have stepped from your box, and are eagerly stroking that pen, but you just let it sit in one place too long 
You have a way of touching your reader. As a matter of fact, sad poetry is the most powerful in most cases, even the love stories. So maybe it is not that you are still in your shell or "box", but you just need that boost of encouragmemt. I like it. I really do.
Mel
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Such a sorrow filled poem, really tugs at the emotions as you read. A superbly penned piece, good luck in the contest with it
Glad you like the BG I made.
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This is very very sad it is if you are say good bye. I sure this is not the case for your and your family has been through so much. I am hopeing that you all will have many years of happyness to share. As for the poem it was wrote very very well
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Hi Jonathan ~
I am going to say something, which I do not want you to take the wrong way ~
I enjoy your poetry, and I enjoy your style....even your presentation is a knock-out like that smile of yours.....but I am waiting for you to step out of the box and pen from outside your comfort zone ~
I am waiting for your Theme to change into a much hapier place.....and I totally relate to your genre right now.....as I shared with you about my health as well......but there comes a time, especially in a Poets life, when they have to break the cycle of penning from the same inkwell, and look at your poetry through the eyes of another writer/poet ~
You are a damn good writer Bubba.......cute as hell too.....but I am going to push you more and more until you give me that WOWZER write, which I will let you know when it happens ~
You are so blessed to have the talents of a natural writer.....but unless you broaden your poetic devices, you are only going to sharpen the same quill, until there is nothing left to sharpen ~
I hope you understand where I am coming from ~
Be well and may my higher Power heal you.........as there is Nothing, my God can't do.....nothing......and that's what we call miracles :)
Sleep well,
Bear ~
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Loves gift and the promise to care for in sickness and in health
This write portrays this with deep emotions.
Yes it bleeds and it hurts
Thank you for sharing your words
Julie
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So sad, so beautiful and so loving. Mike you have left me in tears, oh well started the day that way and ending it so too. Thank you so much for sharing this. Good luck,
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