Help!
I am breaking my own heart
A little bit at a time
Help!
I am lonely and tired
A little bit lost in this world
Help!
I am falling again
So far down only thorns where I land
Help!
I have done it again
Lost myself to the bitterness
Help!
I need someone to hold me
When the world starts to crumble
Help!
I am tired of forgetting myself
I need someone to help
Help!
Won't you take under your wing
So I don't have to sit here alone
Help!
I am crying myself to sleep
won't somebody please help me
A contest entry
- SOMETHING FOR THE WEEKEND(picture prompt changed) by tarcus.
509 points, ended April 21, 2008, 5 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - personal favorite by Virgoan.
2000 points, ended June 9, 2008, 64 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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I think that repeating help gets a little old. But then again, it is a crucial part of the poem.
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Nice poem though it is, repetition of help put me off.
I am not averse to repetative poetry but feel the repeating of HELP depletes the actual meaning of the word as in the boy who cried wolf!
The poem may in fact benefit with the removal of the word help altogether excepting for the last line in the last stanza.
I have read it without the word and it sounds so much better in my head.
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NICE
I really liked this because its often how I feel sometimes. -
A cry for help
is something I cannot ignore, and this piece resonates in many ways with my own feelings.
Remember this. Someone else shares the loneliness you feel. You are NOT alone in the world.
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