When I saw you again I felt my heart swell with love.
I knew that I could never hate you for what you have done.
It was why you did it that had me puzzled.
I felt something was off.
How you wanted to buy me things.
From a laptop to a car.
I couldn't believe what I was hearing.
Then when we stopped at a redlight and you spoke,
I felt the tears swell in my eyes.
Here was the man that help conceived me.
Here was the man who missed some accomplishments in my life.
Here was the man that is my father but I couldn't call him one.
When I felt that you were about to cry.
I didn't know what to say.
You said that you had to choose between two people you love,
And you hoped I could understand why you did it.
It's hard for me to say "Go to hell!"
Because I do still love you.
When I heard that you took off.
I felt that you were going to do something to end your life.
I knew you had that gun.
Here was the man who admitted he done wrong.
Here was the man that almost cried telling me so.
Here was the man that hugged me and said he loved me.
That night I couldn't sleep.
I laid awake and thought about you.
What were you doing?
Who were you with?
I didn't cried.
I felt no emotion.
But I constantly thought about you.
Ever time the phone would ring I would jump.
Wondering if someone was calling to tell the news.
My throat would run dry.
How would I take it?
Would I have been able to handle it?
Here was the man that I am getting to know over again.
Here was the man that I am hiding from everyone to see.
Here was the man that is my father and I can't tell anyone.
I cherished the times I spent with you before.
I think about how I never really got along with Pauline.
But I have seen the way she looks at you.
I couldn't believe you have to hurt her this way.
She loves you I know she does.
I hope you can open your eyes and see.
Before it's way too late.
And you do something that you may regret.
Here was the man that never said anything about my sexuality.
Here was the man in which no emotions crossed his face.
Here was the man that has me thinking.....
Are you trying to be my father again?????????
Author notes
This is all totally true. I seen my father. I am not suppose to see him due to a restraining order. When he said what he did none of that mattered. I could care less. This was hard for me to write and I hope you can understand that.
A contest entry
- anything & prewrites!, as short, long, freewritten or rhyming as you wanna be! by wendymolly.
690 points, ended June 14, 2008, 55 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - !! PREWRITTEN POEMS !! by lost.and.alone.
400 points, ended August 15, 107 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - options take a look by racergirl212006.
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Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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this was great i cant relate exactly but my dad was always at work when i was little and i was the girl without her dad at her birhtday or that sat alone at the father daughter dance but things have actually gotten better since his accident so i hope they do for you, i know im only 11 but ive been through a lot so if you ever want to talk let me know!
-Mary-
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wow. this is very deep. I have never went through this myself but you made me feel like I did. you wrote is perfect. made me feel everything. im sorry about what happened. but keep writing your amazing at it. thank you so much for entering
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Very emotional, with a great question that echoes at the end!!! awesome writing!
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This is so deeply personal that the idea of an anonymous outsider commenting on it is just too much. The expression of feelings must have helped?
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awww I Like this one u really brought out how you felt if you ever need to talk just talk to me..KK? it was a awsome poem I enjoy reading your poems so keep writing welp I luv ya bunches
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