and then a startling vision,
a memory i remember that
i am going to have, you are with me
stubble setting in and
lines on our faces, plastic cups
of beer, wrigley field
even though the name will be changed
and we survived this simulated war
our dots never blipped off
the computer screen, and the sun
isn't a lie
as it sets, and lake michigan turns
gray and blue again
sky not discernible in the distance
i guess friendship never struck me
as something so approachable, have
terrible thoughts in the shower
having not slept last night. but you are
here and concrete and listen
when i have nothing to say. and you
acknowledge the importance of my
nothingness, which is
about the best thing a guy
could ever really ask for. so let's
soak up whatever this place
will let us take, suppose the
screaming fake tan of
headband bound girls will eventually
subside, you will become
a pine tree, i'll nap inside.
the summer is inevitable, digging my feet
against the damp spring grass will
do no good, so i guess
i'll throw a pale arm around your
skinny shoulder, and we can
keep trying to figure this whole thing out.
Author notes
i really mean it.
So.. whats you think about it?
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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beautiful, and unique. two of the best traits you can find in a poem.
I loved the line "you will become a pine tree, I'll nap inside."
Amazing.
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hey man, this is a good read. "you acknowledge the importance of my nthingness" it just says alot. nice job
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Very nice, love the style and the wording.
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Woderfully Written !
This is a very deep, as well as personal,and dark poem it seems as though you really do not know one another really at all . For it reminds me every that the two of you really should have known one another really well by now ! I have been to Lake Michigan and it is just(Beautiful) ! One of the most beautiful places that one could ever see both the sunset as it rises as well as when the sunset is sitting ! Although I really like the way that you have put all of these feelings into words.Brenda Gae
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This is an amazing piece, not only because of the images and the very obvious strength of the emotions behind it, but because of the flow. The format is weird but it works perfectly well, each line flowing into the next one. This is definitely one of those pieces you read more than once. Great job!
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i particularly liked this line: “the sun/ isn't a lie” i can’t help but think how do we know that the sun isn’t a lie? how do we know anything at all? overall i liked it. it makes you sound charming and considerate & hopefully whomever its about appreciates you just as much as you appreciate them. its far too often that the nice guys get the bad side of things. (:
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Amazing
You have talent, that's all there is to it... great job! I love it!
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"and then a startling vision,
a memory i remember that
i am going to have"
cool cool cool
" and you
acknowledge the importance of my
nothingness, which is
about the best thing a guy
could ever really ask for."
wow, you're really sweet.
"you will become
a pine tree, i'll nap inside."
ahh this poem is filled with adorable.
be careful or half this website will fall in love with you.
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you seem like such a good guy, genuinely.
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