I am no longer
The gentle breeze blowing through your hair
Nor the answer to your prayer
I am no longer there
I am no longer
The whisper guiding you through the dark
Nor your heart’s igniting spark
I am no longer there
I am no longer there, you see
After all that’s been said and done to me
I am no longer there
Guiding you with care
I am no longer
The song ringing through your soul
Nor the one to patch your holes
I am no longer there
I am no longer
The reason you are alive
Nor the love from which you thrive
I am no longer there
I am no longer there, you see
After all that’s been said and done to me
I am no longer there
No longer there
A contest entry
- Let me see your HEART. by fallinxalone.
530 points, ended May 25, 2008, 32 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
-
Short, simple, to the point. I like this poem a lot. It shows your scars without bearing them and waiting for you to be torn again. What a wonderful insight. The rhyme was okay, there are times I thought it was a little pushed, but who cares. This poem was great regardless.
-
wow!! This is an amazing poem. It shows you have allot of talent. The words flow beautifully and sound so sweet and sad at the same time. It really is an amazing piece. Excellent work!!!
-
Great
This is a great poem. I kinda sounds like a song but its a great poem. I really liked it a lot. Great job. I loved how you repeated the words " I am no longer....." It was great. -
Humm..you are describing the sentiments in a way as they are travelling and revealing one by one the truth of your heart..wonderful my friend...
-
Bravo!
I like this poem! Could and should be a song! Think about that. Very sad topic. Thoughts are concrete and well articulated. Well done! Thanks for the read. Return the favor?
-
I love this poem, so much, it's beautiful, Amazingly written and full of emotion!
-
i am not really a fan of rhyming. however, this was pretty good still. i did feel the emotion. the only thing is that i think you could write the same emotion a little less cliche, you know? please, know i am just trying to make you to your full potential. this was very good. thank you for entering it!
-
Sad. Beautiful, and sad. This seems to me as if it has potential to be transformed into a great breakup song. Thank you for this piece.
-
thats so sad, it actually brought tears to my eyes! but i guess in the middle of a break down anything can, not saying its not good because its fantastic.. ugh. i'm rambling. bye now. great work!!
Adding your comment:
1 - 9 of 9
