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The End.





Eyes bring down shutters
against casualties of the world,
that tire with habits and constant
formalities.

Fingers rigid;
results of monotonous activity
burden creativity and sense of
originality -
acting on reactions too cold
for affection.

Home silently stutters,
planting hiccups in daily routines
and placing homesickness in stomachs
that have stopped churning
for survival -
emotion staggers, leaving behind pebbles
of lost nostalgia:
a longing for something that doesn't
exist.

Muse is beaten, as dust particles
roam the air, choking my conscience
and painting regret on foreheads.

But remorse dwells over those

that breathe 

and I have no will





to
live.


A contest entry

Now you tell me:

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 17 of 17

  • whispernthedark Greeters member
    September 27, 2008

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    I love the hiccups, and so many pieces. Your title made me think of The Doors, and your poetry made me think beyond them (not an easy feat at all). Outstanding poetry that seeps into my pores and makes me feel. Thank you for entering the contest, good luck.

    ♥
    whisper


  • LadyUnique silver member
    April 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    these lines got me right in the gut...
    'Home silently stutters,
    planting hiccups in daily routines
    and placing homesickness in stomachs
    that have stopped churning
    for survival -
    emotion staggers, leaving behind pebbles
    of lost nostalgia:
    a longing for something that doesn't
    exist'
    i know this place too well and i know i sound 'cliche' it's the truth
    despair... pure despair...
    this makes the finalist list and I wish you much luck from there thank you for this entry for if you hadn't entered it i probably would have never read it


  • Light no more
    April 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    It has the kind of beautiful sadness that makes seem that I'm being plunged in despair. I enjoyed reading this. I hope to be able to read more of your great poetry.


    • Never Fall in Love
      April 29, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Well, I don't know if I can say thanks [for plunging in despair, lol]
      but thank you for the comment

  • DarkRomantic113
    April 19, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Blah, grim and bitter but I liked it all the same.


  • newmommy5n5
    April 18, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Love it. Great Expression words. I really felt it.


  • EmmaLuLu
    April 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    great!!!;O wow ur words are mazing and ur flow is great check out my poems pliz x x x


  • Empathy Reborn
    April 16, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Deep

    beautiful... just beautiful


  • A Summer Depression
    April 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    wow so descriptive, sad, and just plain good. it just really flows so well. i love it!! the wording of it all is just fasinating 2....beautifully written. keep up the awesome writes!


  • XxXemotionalfreakXxX
    April 14, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    "but i have no will to live"that really go to me.i really like this poem!!


  • Randomly Beautiful
    April 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I tell you that I have no critique. It is well written. Now I will tell you that others, somewhere, always have it worse than you could imagine. Life is all in our perspective love.

    • Never Fall in Love
      April 14, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      I don't deny that others have it worse - however, one's own pain does not reduce when other's pain is more. I'm not complaining, don't worry. I write with stress and so stress takes the form it likes to most - drive to the end.


  • Loveandblessings2u gold member
    April 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I'm pretty sure that you won't want to hear this,
    especially coming from me. But if I learned anything from you at all, it is to always speak my mind. So that is what I am going to do.
    I know you find it hard to go on at times. But that really is ok. We all do, and yes even me.
    If you only knew, how many times I woke up every morning and said to myself " oh no here I go again " or how many times I said " there has got to be a better way ".
    Life at times seems to be so hard and unfair.
    It can bring tears to your eyes, for no reason.
    Let me tell you about being depressed, that use to be my middle name LoL.
    I lost so much sleep, couldn't eat the whole nine yards. Because I loss the one person who I loved the most in my life, my dad. Then I spent so much of my time disliking a man who I really loved but believed he wouldn't love me back. Only to find out that all along he really did. Time is to short to be wasting on wondering " what if's ".
    Then to top it all off I go to a job, that I use to love going to. But people who I try to help heal and care for, cuss me and others out, all because we can't give them drugs after drugs, so they spit in our faces, and call us every name in the book. Everyday I have to hear " where the hell is my pain medicine, you black B----, and I continue to wonder why do I even bother? But silly me goes right back to work the very next day.
    Anyway I told you all that, just to say that yeah life sucks at times, but there really is a reason for everything. And you, yes you Sweetheart happens to be just one reason that, I go on. I come to this site and I see that " Never Fall In Love " is signed on and, I smile. So if you don't mind, please find a will to live, because this may sound selfish, but I need you to help me continue to smile. Thank you.
    Always and I mean always remember that some lady in a city called Philadelphia loves you ~~~.

    Loveandblessings2u & yours always
    Love Ya,
    Your Granny


    • Never Fall in Love
      April 14, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      Granny, I won't leave, don't worry
      I will just take a time off and be back soon enough.


  • Fug-azi
    April 14, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Seems a very personal write that borders close to clinical depression, been there myself and though you never want to hear it the truth is things do get better .. if you let them.

1 - 17 of 17