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Your Sleeping

Desperations coming for me
As I walk the streets at night
Waiting outside your house for hours
Looking for a spark of light
Watch your nose wrinkle as you sleep
And I hold back my laugh
Comb the hair from your face
Just to want the other half
A sigh escapes your dreams
And my heart sighs along
Your alarm goes off
With your favorite song
You wake and I am gone
You get ready for the day
And I suffer through once more
My routine will never change

Author notes

Not really written for anyone, it just became.

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 13 of 13

  • Angelflower
    August 22, 2008
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    This was really interesting and just a litttle freaky..Lol. Though I thoughe that it ended a little abruptly, and I think that it could have been a little longer you still did a really good job.. Thank you very much for sharing.. best of luck in the contest..


    Angel

  • Topiary
    June 1, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Good job on this. The combination of gentleness and creepy is incredible.


  • Shrat
    June 1, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This reminds me of the time I woke up and my stepsister was sitting on my bed staring at me, but anyway... excellent write you have here. You really have a good hold on the english language, and you showed it here. Even your authors note was lovely... it just became... such a simple phrase with such a great meaning. I love it.


  • Nephlim
    May 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I like your author note... it became really beautiful. Emotional in a distant way.
    GREAT job
    diggin it majorly


  • libithina
    May 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This was very cleverly crafted
    it also showed a maturity and insight
    'a sigh escapes your dreams'
    very well done s


  • sad-eyed anime girl
    May 25, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    its... sweet, yet very, very sad.


  • usually-untitled
    May 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    this is sweet, but i think 'you wake and i am gone' would fit better than 'you awake.' the number of syllables, i mean.


  • Candy Morphine
    May 24, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    this is sweet

    well done and all the best for the contest


  • IrishGypsyRose silver member
    May 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Hmmmm....

    This is a great piece though I found it bordered disturbing lol not a bad thing though for some of my work is disturbing to myself...I loved it and I wish you luck in the contest best wishes -mandie-

  • cdudecosner
    May 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    It tells a good story! People can relate to wanting something that they cannot have! It always seems to go that way. Then if the person is not careful, once they get what they want, they end up wanting the next unreachable item! Very well done!


  • Super-GOREgous
    May 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    aww sounds like really boring cause theres no sex here...jk jk!!!! but really this is a cute one Great Job! -Gore


  • infernalxfidelity
    May 6, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    i thought this was beautiful, even if it just kinda fell into being. it rolled off the paper, the flow was increadable. excellent.

1 - 13 of 13