My tree will not grow.
Not from lack of trying, but of caring.
There is no use to water it anymore.
I watch rainclouds approach from every direction during all hours of every season.
The storm begins, and I watch the first Plague re-enacted,
pouring red onto the grass.
I am safe from the rain, watching from the window.
It falls like Hell, soaking into the ground.
Blame does not rest on the local climate, as clouds roam above all continents, everywhere, forever.
No matter what, the roots will always be planted in layer upon layer of soil nourished by the thicker cycle of life.
And the budding branches will absorb it.
My tree will not grow.
Author notes
I wrote this after reading about the war in Darfur.
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A contest entry
- INVITE-SHOW ME WHAT YOU'VE GOT!!! by Heroesrox.
1200 points, ended February 16, 9 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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Ooo you are the King of Cryptic, my friend.
This is excellent. Once I read the AN, I went back and reread the poem. I love it even more knowing what it is about; I see the metaphors more easily. I love the repeating line at beginning and end for emphasis. Excellent write.
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Great piece. Vivid imagery, great flow, and powerful words.
Fantastic job!
♥ Kathraina
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Thank you very much.
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wow, this is really powerful. great write!
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Thank you.
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BRILLIANT! Thanks so much for entering and good luck!
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Thanks a lot.
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Wonderful! This is a great write. I loved it
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Stunning piece. Great imagery, powerful write.
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thank you.
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Although i don't fully understand, that doesn't mean i can't appreciate what this poem is trying to say. It's a brilliant poem, brilliant imagery. : )
It's stuff like this that people really need to see. A decent message that the world really needs to listen to.
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Thank you very very much. Im glad you liked it.
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This poem contains beautiful imagery and metaphors that I can't even begin to understand.
I have no idea about this war, because I care not to look far from my own little life, and into the troubles of the rest of the world.
I understand little bits and pieces, but the entire picture isn't in view to me yet.
Probably years from now when I actually know more than my name, I will look back on this and comment again with a more understanding view on this wonderful piece.
Though I didn't fully get the message, I still did love the poem. Every word was well placed to enhance the flow of the poem, and I enjoyed reading this.
Thank you for the read, and I hope someday I will be able to fully understand the depth and beauty of this poem. Keep writing.
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You don't really have to know about Darfur to appreciate it. It's cryptic on purpose. Im glad you were still able to appreciate it though.
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I feel as though I cann not completely appreciate this poem for my lack of knowledge on darfur; however I do get the theme and the message is well, brilliant, melancholically so.
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Thank you very much.
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This is pretty incredible. I have always liked your poems because they're not just dark, like some of this run-of-the-mill emo crap: they're meaningful, and the message is one that no one should be spared.
Excellent use of imagery and devices Thanks for sharing this with our humble little group.
Laura
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Thank you very much for your great comment. I really am proud of this one.
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*low whistle* Amazing imagery. Not often am I speechless, but I am now. GREAT WRITE.
Warmest,
Mylee
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Thank you. ^_^
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Amazing write i so liked it alot. So describing for a short poem. Wonderful well done. I am kinda lost of words so sorry for my suckie comment
..<3..
Shelly -
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It's okay; thank you very much.
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Different, but good.
Though this was written about Darfur, it holds many a metaphor for many things--a trend in your poetry as I previously mentioned. A good trend, though. This poem was dark, but a good kind of dark.
My mind wandered to a humorous quote when I read this -- "My fake plants died because I didn't pretend to water them."<--a direct portrayal of about how good I would be at nurturing a plant. I'd nurture it right to the grave. Heehee.
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That quote is from Mitch Hedberg, one of my favorite comedians. Awesome! This is one of my favorites here because of all the meaning it holds for me and others. Most people don't see the meaning I originally held for it, which is okay, because they find something they can relate to. Thank you, as always.
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Well, hello. Im in Shreveport. I take care of trees. I guess, I have too clinical an outlook to tease out the deeper meaning! Are you saying the problems are too big? You really do not address the problem; and send mixed messages that the means of growth are present (rain and the ability to be nourished).
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Well, I meant for this to be interpretational, so I did not limit my tone, and let's just say that the rain does not nourish in a good way. Try looking deeper please.
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wow great descriptions, the poem cannot be properly appreciated unless you have background knowledge on the wars of Darfur.
The personification of the dieing tree is genius highlighting the lack of growth in developmenta dn the lack of life in nature due to economic hardhip, so fantastic metaphor.
and I realy agree and sympathise your underlying message here.
'Not from lack of trying, but of caring.'(very potent)
I love your apocalyptic imagery where you deliberately link the 10 plagues (book of revelations)linking it to the plague in 1665, making this verse a very athiest opinion that both were sdimilarly catastrophic, showing the neagative side to religion, illness and obviously the war in darfur.
I really like this line
'I am safe from the rain, watching from the window.'
talking about this before I read the poem how people simply watch, which is noone's fault, the world is divided and ruled by powerful people, we are somtimes unable to help dueto finance, distance or division. but it remains the fct that people complain but still watch without attempting to help becasue they elack of care. som people do not know that Dafur exists lol.
'No matter what, the roots will always be planted in layer upon layer of soil nourished by the thicker cycle of life.
And the budding branches will absorb it.'
this is great I interpret this my own way but I am posiibly wrong due to the layers of possible interpretations.
Saying that the roots are always there, sources of (conflict) and the layer upon layer of soil that have buried the true reason over time, has just caused an ongoing war tha noone knows why the war is still fighting except that its tradition to do so.
the budding branches which I assume to be people in this case absorb the opprtunity to carry on becasue they have nothing left.
leaving the repeated last line where the tree wont grow saying that the tree is positive outcome, however seeing as the rot causes of war and conlict are at the heart the tree will never grow.
well done this is amazing.
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Thank you for such a great comment! I really like the way you interpreted it, even though a great deal of it was not what I had in mind. For example, I did not deliberately link the biblical and 1665 plagues, although I like what you saw in it. Also, for the lines about the roots, I like how you see it meaning that no one remembers the true reason and continue to fight as tradition. I meant it more as every new generation in today's world is surrounded by violence (hence the thicker cycle of life, or blood) and become desensitized by violence and accepting it as how life works. There is an entire other way to look at this poem that I would like you to search for that would help you enjoy it more. Anyway, thank you for reading and analyzing.
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Absolutly beautiful
your imagery is amazing and i love your comparisons. Your work is amazing and i can't wait to read more. Again Absolutly beautiful!
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Thank you so much! It makes me very happy to know people enjoy my thoughts and that I'm successful in making them sensible. I'm glad you enjoyed them, and for now, there will be more stories than poems, so try checking those out.
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Dear Poet, I am impressed that at such a tender age and personally unaffected by Darfur that you choose to be inspired by it. Having said that, in all honesty, without the author notes there would be no indication that this piece of poetry is about Darfur.
Yes, this could also refer to a family tree, the budding branches as fallopian tubes, the thicker cycle of life may appertain to the lining of the womb ready to be fertilized, perhaps you allude to there being no need for birth when there is a certainty of death? The line " There is no use to water it anymore" caused me to pause at both read throughs. Perhaps instead " There is a futility to fruitfulness? No, that is not in keeping with your voice, I mean no disrespect, I am being honest without any intention to wound, it's the phraseology of that one line that for me personally halts me, that's not a crticism. Please don't shoot me a Fatwa via IM, I am sharing and caring and not being disengenous, though am in a minority, 'tis my way to be completely honest, believe me it wounds me more than anyone else, it is the easiest thing in the world to offer unadultered praise, the very fact that you were inspired by tragedy to write poetically tells me that you are an open individual looking for honesty as opposed to unbridled praise. Enough of my rambling! Three well deserved happy yellow chappies clapping from me!
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Thank you for reading and leaving such a wonderful comment. I'm glad the poem does not give any indication of my prompt, because that way I feel it can be applied to many different situations as time goes on. And yes, it DOES also refer to a family tree. The "budding branches" in fact alludes to offspring, and the "thicker cycle of life" refers to blood, which leaks out of the TV and is mixed into the ink used to print newspapers. YOU GOT IT! "There being no need for birth when there is a certainty of death." That is what I've been waiting for someone to say; you haven't said it word for word the way I see it, but you are so very close.
I'm sorry that line causes you to pause, but it fit very well in my mind. You're right "There is a futility to fruitfulness" does not really keep with my voice; it is not something I would say. But yes, I would prefer honesty as opposed to gratuitous praise (just as long as my work isn't torn to pieces without regard to my feelings).
Thank you very much!
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The imagery and choice of words here are very powerful and the thoughts and feelings they generate are palpable and memorable. It touches the soul deeply. Thank you for sharing your words with me and best wishes to in all of your endeavors. Keep that quill dipped in ink and ever ready for use dear poet.
♥ Touchof1der -
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Thank you very much for a great comment. I will be sure to follow your advice.
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Mind blowing and an excellent mastery of figurative pice of literature. This feels almost like a great poet's work. the imagery, the figuative comparisions are great. But a little more structural harmony would enrich the quality further. but great work
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Thank you. I try to get as much structural harmony as possible; it's something I will work on. Thank you for reading and commenting!
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A fine expression of the plague of war,but I see something else as well, though it may be my own interpretation and not intended by you. It seems to me to cry out for a woman that can not bear children. Sillyme, I really must stop trying to read between the lines. Excellent!
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Close! You are SO close to the interpretation I meant for! Don't stop reading between the lines; you're actually the first person who seems to have noticed the duality.Keep trying. Thank you very much for reading!
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BRAVO! BRAVO!
Wonderfully written especially given the prompt of
Darfur. I agree the images and news report were too
piercing and almost too painful to believe...could this
really be happening in our contemporary times!
You should be very proud of this poem, it really reaches
through on a topic that is so very hard to view.
The suffering of so many innnocents.
ears/Seattle
way to give power to your poetic voice!
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Thank you so much. The interesting thing is, I had not even finished the article in National Geographic when I wrote this! My eyes passed a couple of pictures displaying the poverty, and statistics of the ill-treatment of women in that area, and it was enough to inspire me. I am proud of this poem; I really reached for imagery and I think I got my point across. Thank you again!
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Superb
Ah, a rather sad, but absorbing write. -
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Thank you!
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Cyclical, in a great way. I love the metaphor that you used here. A fitting piece for the subject at hand (Darfur). Beautiful write.
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Thank you for your comment. I still have yet to find someone who sees the other half of this poem, though.
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this is the kind of poem that can be adapted to almost any situation including personal. it's flexible. it's cool that you've made the first and last line the same. it shows emphasis
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Thank you! I almost changed the last line a little, but I thought it would be better if I kept in the same. And I love having poetry, or a story, that's flexible; that's what helps it become a classic.
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I know you say you wrote this after reading about Darfur - but I picked up on a sexual undertone - maybe my mind is just perverted tho!
I hope your tree can grow again soon
seriously tho - I like the futile tone and the 'down to earth' imagery - I also liked the way you place yourself as an observer - safe - looking in - because we don't REALLY understand what it's like to live in that we only feel the small aftershocks from images in the media
Well done with this one
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Even though I did not intend for this to have any kind of sexual tone, my friends found one too! Eh. Anyway, yeah, I've come to realize that no matter how much you may read about an event, you don't truly understand what it is like until you are actually there. But that doesn't mean we don't feel any repurcussions.
Thank you!
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War soaked ground
bears no fruit.
The land that war is constantly engaged in will eventually become a dessert.
Look where war is heralded & you will see.
Very thought provoking write here.
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Thank you. The thing is, there are two ways to look at this poem; you hit one on the head. If you can find the other way to look at it, I'll be really impressed. Here's hint: think of the title on a more personal level.
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