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jack drinks jack





I wasn’t sure how
you did it;
made me feel
safer in
the dark without
even turning
the light on.

my breath came
out slowly-
throat hurting-
constricting.
restricting the
lullabies at
bay.

"don't say a
word" my
favorite part
of the song-
I'd sing along
without making
a sound.

I once was
lost but
now I'm found
and I think

no this isn't
true. you still
cry on the
floor in
the closest room
next to mine.

you will hold
pills and bottles
and fisted
unwashed sheets
in replace of
me.

you will not
go to work
today,

and there's
bills to pay
and a message
on the answering
machine.

his name
is jack;

like the beanstalk.


























Author notes

between work and school, my writing is slacking off I know.

khourey

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • ladame
    May 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I really enjoy this...I wasn't expecting the graphic detail, or the basic simplicity - I like the way they work together.


  • CountryCousin
    April 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Definetly interesting.

    This is definetly interesting to read. I can sometimes feel this way of not wanting to go to work. But apparently you are a pretty deep and emotional writer.


  • autarky
    April 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    if this is slacking off, I'm kind of scared to see your writing at its best. this is really very excellent, and the ending was pretty much perfect.

    "I once was
    lost but
    now I'm found
    and I think

    no this isn't
    true. you still
    cry on the
    floor in
    the closest room
    next to mine."

    I loved that part. the beginning wasn't as strong, but as the poem progressed it just got better and better and better.

    amazing job, and thanks for entering.


  • acoustical
    April 13, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    no this is pretty spectacular, actually.
    i love the way you write..


    • zillion
      April 13, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      thank you. I feel like banging my head against the wall every time I try to write something these days. I just don't have much time to sit and think. Especially with school almost over. lol sorry for the vent.


      • acoustical
        April 13, 2008

        Edit | Reply
        it's all good. i,too, feel like death is near with all of this work to be done. and instead i am on ap! arghkfd!

1 - 6 of 6