On top of the world
looking down on creation:
Carpenters’ haiku
Breathless sky climbing
leads to altitude sickness:
litter and hiqh queues
A life’s ambition
for some. To me it seems an
overpriced hike. You?
In a list
A contest entry
- Traditional Haiku & Senryu by liquidmindforever.
800 points, ended May 3, 2008, 34 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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~sigh~
There is so much said in this I find my heart does not wish to leave the page ... the final two lines really make you think
♥
Stay safe
~Manda
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What kind words Manda!
Thank you for your encouragement.
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over-priced perhaps but when you get to the top it will be worth the effort
Joe
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Thanks for your comment Joe, feedback is really useful
In using "over-priced" I was trying to imply the cheapening of the experience by commercialisation and its environmental cost.
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Hey, that is so cool with what you did with the last line of each stanza, I love it! Great imagery too, and a great simple length to keep my attention span.
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Thank you for your enthusiastic feedback!
I hadn't thought about our attention spans - will keep it in mind!
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ha ha
very cute write on a difficult assignment . . I tend to agree that it is overpriced and so dangerous that it isn't worth a life . . liked "Carpenters' haiku" and "A life's ambition For some" . .
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Thank you!
Glad you enjoyed them.
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