As humans we believe that we’re gentle and kind,
we live and let live and give help to the blind.
But woe betide any creature who tried,
to enter the house from the garden outside.
Whether it be a spider beatle or fly,
would get short shrift at the blink of an eye.
We regard fellow creatures in a different light,
we pet or destroy them like we've some god given right.
We think that this earth belongs mankind alone,
and our right to eat animals set down in stone.
We feed them penicillin not ‘cause they’re ill,
they use it to fatten them up for the kill.
And when foot and mouth arrives on the scene,
do humans give them a shot of vaccine.
No,so that the virus can’t spread,
they just kill all the cattle stone dead.
that's quite a sensible thing to do,
like culling all kids who might get the flu.
A contest entry
- round contest #3 (anything) by serenity silvermoon.
600 points, ended May 7, 2008, 27 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Ashamed to be Human - Collection Point II by Death of the Author.
450 points, ended September 15, 2008, 10 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - “We Are What We Repeatedly Do” by SheWasPreternatural.
1500 points, ended October 22, 34 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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AMAZING! i love it! so many points touched upon and so many truths shown. I only found one thing-Whether it be a spider beatle or fly, you might want to seperate the three with commas, but that's just my opinion.
great write and thanks for entering. -
I wholeheartedly believe in the sentiment behind this poem! The creatures on this earth are a very special gift that to many people take advantage of.
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Quiescent
Many Thanks for your kind comments on "The Waife" so glad you liked it.Best Wishes...George... -
MoonStarRaven
Many Thanks for your kind comments on "Humankind" so glad you liked it
Best Wishes...George...
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Thank you for your entry!
I definately liked what you were trying to say here, it is right on target with the subject matter that I requested.
I think the flow is a little interrupted here and there and I think that's because you just tried way too hard to rhyme. I really have no suggestion to "fix" this, it may just be my taste. -
The first four lines are excellent. Then you have that short line which kills the flow completely...I would definitely work on that as the start was so strong it just sticks out like a sore thumb.
I have to say I am not a vegetarian, so that could be another thing that's "wrong" with the world. I'm not ashamed not to be vegetarian though...but I can see why others would be ashamed of me.
The last few lines again lose the pace completely. The start and middle are perfect. Just tidy up those parts and the poem as a whole will read so much better...
GREAT ending it has to be said.
Thank you for your entry...was skillfully written
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She Has My Heart
Re Human-kind I was (quite wrongly) in the process of editing it as you clicked on
I've now completed it to conform to your request.If you have time please let me know
how it now flows in your opinion George
Best Wishes George ++++ -
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Why quite wrongly?
It seems better to me, though I don't discern much difference. I mean, it flows better, but I can't see why. Maybe it's me.
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Thank you for your entry
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i think people have lost their hearts... human beings are just failing as creatures with so many positive possibilites...
good luck with ur contest!
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Passionate-poet
Many thanks for your kind comments on "Human-kind
very much appreciated George -
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Your name's George?
Me too
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