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Human- kind


As humans we believe that we’re gentle and kind,
we live and let live and give help to the blind.
But woe betide any creature who tried,
to enter the house from the garden outside.
Whether it be a spider beatle or fly,
would get short shrift at the blink of an eye.
We regard fellow creatures in a different light,
we pet or destroy them like we've some god given right.
We think that this earth belongs mankind alone,
and our right to eat animals  set down in stone.
We feed them penicillin not ‘cause they’re ill,
they use it  to fatten them up for the kill.
And when foot and mouth arrives on the scene,
do humans give them a shot of vaccine.
No,so that the virus can’t spread,
they just kill all the cattle stone dead.
that's quite a sensible thing to do,
like culling all kids who might get the flu.

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 12 of 12

  • upperworld06
    March 29

    Edit | Reply
    AMAZING! i love it! so many points touched upon and so many truths shown. I only found one thing-Whether it be a spider beatle or fly, you might want to seperate the three with commas, but that's just my opinion.
    great write and thanks for entering.


  • MoonStarRaven
    March 27

    Edit | Reply
    I wholeheartedly believe in the sentiment behind this poem! The creatures on this earth are a very special gift that to many people take advantage of.

    • judmc
      March 28
      Edit | Reply

      Quiescent

      Many Thanks for your kind comments on "The Waife" so glad you liked it.Best Wishes...George...

    • judmc
      March 28
      Edit | Reply

      MoonStarRaven

      Many Thanks for your kind comments on "Humankind" so glad you liked it
      Best Wishes...George...


  • howlinginpain
    August 5, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for your entry!

    I definately liked what you were trying to say here, it is right on target with the subject matter that I requested.

    I think the flow is a little interrupted here and there and I think that's because you just tried way too hard to rhyme. I really have no suggestion to "fix" this, it may just be my taste.


  • Death of the Author
    July 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    The first four lines are excellent. Then you have that short line which kills the flow completely...I would definitely work on that as the start was so strong it just sticks out like a sore thumb.

    I have to say I am not a vegetarian, so that could be another thing that's "wrong" with the world. I'm not ashamed not to be vegetarian though...but I can see why others would be ashamed of me.

    The last few lines again lose the pace completely. The start and middle are perfect. Just tidy up those parts and the poem as a whole will read so much better...

    GREAT ending it has to be said.

    Thank you for your entry...was skillfully written

    • judmc
      July 5, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      She Has My Heart

      Re Human-kind I was (quite wrongly) in the process of editing it as you clicked on
      I've now completed it to conform to your request.If you have time please let me know
      how it now flows in your opinion George

      Best Wishes George ++++

      • Death of the Author
        July 5, 2008
        Edit | Reply
        Why quite wrongly?

        It seems better to me, though I don't discern much difference. I mean, it flows better, but I can't see why. Maybe it's me.


  • wingsofgold25 silver member
    April 20, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for your entry


  • passionate-poet
    April 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    i think people have lost their hearts... human beings are just failing as creatures with so many positive possibilites...
    good luck with ur contest!

1 - 12 of 12