Walking down a lane.
Dirt paths melting beneath my feet.
Marching in rewind
-Here i go again.
Trance the past.
We all sing for our past transgressions.
past pains.
Trace the old mine fields and misstep.
Oh, there you go again.
into a crater of unsolved emotions.
yet all they're gonna say :
"up the ante,
dose by dose,
sleep suspended comatose"
Take some of these,
down some angel-dusted triple sec
and we'll see you in white
tomorrow morning.
Comatose.
Wandering aimlessly down the scream-streets, this door that.
Find your cubby hole little boy,
then run home to your mommy's blue.
Now Daddies lost in the remedies,
and singing to himself.
So the barbed-wire butterflies
dance a Pa De Deux behind your eyes.
Yet all they're gonna say:
"Up the ante,
dose by dose,
sleep suspended comatose"
drink some of this,
and down up some morphine.
now We'll see you in white,
tomorrow morning.
Comatose.
Crawling through a hall
that's imploding far too fast.
Chuckles ringing all around-
so welcome to your past.
The doors that closed,
will never open.
The doors that opened,
just won't close.
When the smoke begins to swirl
we all begin to see,
your so called
"Happy" childhood.
up-up the ante
pump it dose by dose
fall to acidic sleep
now in a suspended comatose.
Author notes
yet another song. Which hath no melody... but i'll work on that later.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Snazzy. Barbed wire butterflies, I have inspired something!
...even if it is just my name and it probably is just something from your head but shhhh let me have my moment of fame.
An awesome poem/song, they're the same thing so let's go with piece, had a very strong beat and flow. The repetition of the chorus with subtle changes was very effective, keeping the piece fresh throughout but allowing for the familiar beat to take place. The imagery was great. A very enjoyable read. -
if you find a melody, i think you should record this, as i would really like to hear how it turns out.
i like the imagery it brings to the table. my favorite part of this would most likely have to be:
"Up the ante,
dose by dose,
sleep suspended comatose"
the rhyme just has a certain bounce about it.
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"up the ante,
dose by dose,
sleep suspended comatose"
Whee~ <3
I never could find a way to use comatose just right, but I think you've done it.
That, and carcinogens.
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Thankies!! ^^ good word, that.
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