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egoïste





When celebration exalts failure,
intervals become burdens
that strain individuality.

Aptitude and craftsmanship retire,
leaving vacant muse and drops of paint
splattered on coarse fabric.
[that imitate involuntary favors]

Authorities suppress creativity,
claiming authenticity of models -
cloaked masterpieces too hectic
for exposure.

You state; I sketch:
"Inappropriate material
that blurs reality in any way
will be discarded without notice.
You have been warned."

So here we go.

Masquerades of arrogant leaders
parade in sequence;
each mimicking the former influence -
walking in composed paths
that compress the wills of all.

Regulations represent restrictions
that are imposed on rebels
who outline the core
of the picture.

Without the gloss,
without design
and without the tints of touch ups,

this is the truth.

 

Author notes

Prompt: of canvas & carnivals
For Teen Idol 8 - Top 13 [against Flight]

This was about a painter who's muse is lost because of constraints where he isn't allowed to paint certain things because of exposure. I linked this to today's politics - the parade of frauds that control us and limit us in what we want to do.

Critiques greatly appreciated.

A contest entry

Now you tell me:

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 13 of 13
  • DarkRomantic113
    April 19, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I wanted to say how you can't paint over truth and look at the rainbow on the sides! LOL.


  • Empathy Reborn
    April 16, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    awestruck

    you continue to exhibit superior skill and vocabulary... i must get to know you better!!!


  • Fug-azi
    April 14, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I like the way you have gone with this, though perhaps some of the words were a little "long", I mean you have a wonderful vocabulary but in this piece I feel you have perhaps overused it a little, sometimes simplicity means so much more (and that coming from a word fanatic like me )

    The ending is really great, its stark, straight down the line, "stick this in your pipe and smoke it" wording.

    Good luck

    • Never Fall in Love
      April 14, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      I'm having to force all my pieces as of late.

      Thank you though


      • Fug-azi
        April 14, 2008

        Edit | Reply
        Doesn't seem forced, just a few of the words you used seemed to disrupt the flow a little .. but there again thats just probably me

  • Melissa Gayle gold member
    April 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I can appreciate this, your wording is precise, your lines clean.

    I don't see the need for your author comments though, but thats totally personal prefernece.

    Very nicely done.


  • Tangled Angle
    April 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I like your ideas, but it would have been more effective with imagery. I just never really got any picture in my mind, so I was kind of bored. There were nice images here and there, but not any real strong, vivid ones. I like what you have here though. I honestly think you could have done better.


  • Fey Absinthe
    April 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I agree with this piece a hundred percent. I really do see the connection to the government and its restrictions.


  • W a s p
    April 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    We had a painter who did our house, he felt constrained by the few colours I had given him to work with... is that the same?...ian.


    • Never Fall in Love
      April 13, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Yup, it's exactly the same! Too bad he wasn't a poet and would write something like this to express hs angst against you. But hey, he probably would have taken your advice and say "feck off" to you

  • unraveled
    April 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I really like the way it turned out Chandni. It's elegant and thought-provoking. Good luck to you (and our team), although Bones and Dani both missed the deadline...

    -cassidy

1 - 13 of 13